This one has a sad back story. A man liked his Canon Pixma IP1500 so much that when it broke he bought a secondhand version of the same model. But that didn’t work, so he bought another one. And that didn’t work either, so he bought another one. Which didn’t work. Imagine that.

So he’s now got THREE broken Canon Pixma IP1500 printers, which you can have if you pay more than £1 and live in or near Blackpool. Might be a good deal if you like revenge-smashing printers and need some more printers to revenge-smash.

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NEW TAG CATEGORY: As Owned By Peter Kay’s Metaphorical Nan.

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The listing doesn’t say what it was. Really need to know what was thrown. If it was something soft it suggests a manufacturing weakness and further troubles down the line. If it was a brick, remote control, plate, mug or something solid, we’d be happier taking a risk on there not being any additional underlying defects.

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Don’t worry about it, it’ll magically fix itself and reappear this time next year along with 25,000 perfectly replicated others, all in mint condition.

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Ah. You want trademarked Mickey Mouse ears? They’re £125 each, mate, plus import duty, plus the proprietary Velcro Mickey Mouse Ear Fixings needed to attach them to the non-standard ear latches. Probably best writing this one off and giving it to the dog to hump around the garden, like the dead mole it is.

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Any chance you could throw in the October 2008 edition of Company magazine, some leaflets about coping with alcoholism and a clock that moves slower than it should to complete the doctor’s waiting room role play set?

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It needs a little bit more than TLC. It would require a 12-part TV series hosted by Sarah Beeny to make this rusted mess anything even remotely resembling new.

Thanks to Morgan for the find.

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“Windows had stopped working, so i tried to repair but broke it.”

Never a good sign when you manage to break hardware when trying to fix software…

“The dvdrom had also stopped working, so i removed it,”

O-kaaaayyyy…I suppose if it’s broken you might as well…

“and so had to rip the keyboard off.”

…but not like that, surely?

“It does not power on, but used to, so maybe the battery is dead.
The screen is intact.”

Didn’t smash the screen to bits trying to remove the battery, then?

“Sorry no returns.”

Y’know, I’m not sure you are sorry.
The ‘successful’ bidder, who won this for £34.68 (plus p&p), now THEY might know the meaning of the word…

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Three out of four words wrong in one sentence. And in Comic Sans as big as it’ll go. Slow clap. Such a slow clap that my hands still haven’t touched together yet. Still haven’t. Still haven’t.

*Clap*

Thanks to Hoopy for finding this monstrosity.

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It’s a victorian mechanical monkey. We shall be dreaming about this one tonight.

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