Category Archives: WORKED UNTIL BROKE

HUMAN ERROR NEGLECT/MISUSE UNKNOWN INCIDENT WORKED UNTIL BROKE

"i tried to repair but broke it"


(This beauty sent in by “MiltonsStapler”, heaven only know what he was looking for in order to find this.)

“Windows had stopped working, so i tried to repair but broke it.”

Never a good sign when you manage to break hardware when trying to fix software

“The dvdrom had also stopped working, so i removed it,”

O-kaaaayyyy…I suppose if it’s broken you might as well…

“and so had to rip the keyboard off.”

…but not like that, surely?

“It does not power on, but used to, so maybe the battery is dead.
The screen is intact.”

Didn’t smash the screen to bits trying to remove the battery, then?

“Sorry no returns.”

Y’know, I’m not sure you are sorry.
The ‘successful’ bidder, who won this for £34.68 (plus p&p), now THEY might know the meaning of the word…
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NEGLECT/MISUSE RAGE WORKED UNTIL BROKE

"Our little boy hit it with a toy"

Samsung-UE40D5520-broken

The trick is to bend one of their fingers back as far as it will go if the child looks like going near the TV screen. They soon learn. You can make them cry simply by turning to the TV pages of the Argos catalogue after a few “lessons.”

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HUMAN ERROR WORKED UNTIL BROKE

"This was a fabulous camera until my wife dropped it"

lumix-tz8-wonky-lens

Blame is always best apportioned through a channel she’s unlikely to read.

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HUMAN ERROR NEGLECT/MISUSE UNKNOWN INCIDENT WORKED UNTIL BROKE

"Tinkering fan might be able to sort socket out."

“TAPE PLAYER IS DEAD
RADIO WORKS ONLY
AUDIO SOCKET IS SENSITIVE TO MOVEMENT”

So, unable to play cassettes and you can’t move about while you’re listening to it.
Not really much of a Walkman, is it?

“Worked fine until recently.”

One of these days we’ll find an auction that ticks ALL the category boxes.
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DISTURBING WORKED UNTIL BROKE

"THESE WATCHES (140+) ARE THE CONTENTS OF THE LOST AND FOUND ROOM"

not-dead-definitely-not-dead-child-watches

Here is the protesting-too-much explanation for this bizarre collection of mementos, typed in menacing caps.

“HAVING WORKED FOR A PRIVATE SCHOOL THROUGH THE 80s UNTILL I RETIRED,MY SON THEN TAKING OVER THE CARETAKERS ROLE UNTILL THE SCHOOL CLOSED, THESE WATCHES (140+) ARE THE CONTENTS OF THE LOST AND FOUND ROOM,A FEW MAY DATE BACK TO THE 90s, SOME CHILDRENS WATCHES AS WELL AS A LARGE AMMOUNT OF GROWN UP ONES, THE SCHOOL HAD CHILDREN FROM A EARLY PREP SCHOOL AGE THROUGH TO SIXTH FORM SO THE AGE RANGE WAS GREAT, MANY OF THE QUARTZ WILL JUST NEED A BATTERY AS THEY WERE RUNNING WHEN HANDED IN, LOTS WERE LEFT BEHIND IN LOCKERS AT THE TERM ENDINGS”

Whatever you say, mate. Whatever you say.

*Pulls jumper sleeve over watch, turns, starts running*

Thanks to reader Hoopy for the submission.

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HUMAN ERROR NEGLECT/MISUSE WORKED UNTIL BROKE

"I TRIED. TO FIX"

“HAS BROKEN CHARGING PORT AND BROKEN LCD SCREEN I TRIED. TO FIX THE CHARGING PORT AND THEN ACCIDENTLY BROKE THE LCD SCREEN IT WAS WORKING BEFORE I BROKE THE SCREEN.”

Just as well you stopped there then, really. I could see that spiralling out of control quite quickly.

“HAS GENERAL WEAR MARKS .”

Wear marks generally left by screwdrivers, chisels and lump-hammers, that is.

“PLEASE BARE IN MIND YOU ARE BIDDING ON A FAULTY PHONE SO THERE IS NO RETURN FOR THIS ITEM”

Please bear in mind that if you are bidding on a faulty phone there’s probably not much hope for you.

“Thank & happy bidding”

Oh, you found the caps lock now, have you?
Thank!
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HUMAN ERROR NEGLECT/MISUSE WATER/LIQUIDS WORKED UNTIL BROKE

"still dead so it is now here"


The advertising:

“the iPhone 4 is thin as a rake but the front and back are 30 times stronger than the usual plastic. Reason – aluminosilicate glass, the stuff that windshields of military choppers are made of.”

The reality:

“1x iphone 4 16 gig in nice cosmetic condition. this item was dropped in the sink in water removed within seconds but damage was done”

So, if you ever find you need to quickly disable a military chopper*, quickly dunk it in a bowl of water.

“i cannot check iemi, the sim holder is missing.”

Are the sim holders soluble then? Seems an odd design feature.
And as for the iPad;

“1X IPAD 2,16 GIG WI.FI 3G please study pictures of this item, it was dropped face down and front is a mess. touch is smashed.screen is smashed,”

So. It’s all smashed then?

“back is not damaged in anyway”

Oh, that’s ok then. Obviously they make the backs of ipads out of military chopper windshields, but not the fronts.
Cheapskates.

“power button is intact,when powered on item is on for approx 10 seconds then powers of,then on again and process is repeated.”

If it could display “Just let me die”, it would.
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*not a euphemism
HIJINKS HUMAN ERROR WORKED UNTIL BROKE

"a moment of madness"

“I am selling my Samsung HD 26″ TV for Spares or Repairs.”

Trying to sell, you mean.
Oh wait, 4 bids already.
Give me strength.

“The TV is damaged and wont work.”

Did they not read that bit? Or at least see the picture?

“The screen had a collision with an xbox controller during a moment of madness and is now in need of repair, damage can be seen via the photos.”

I suppose it was only a matter of time once Microsoft released Kinect to try and steal some of the wii’s thunder.
And now 4 other people are obviously having a moment of madness themselves.

“Everything else with the TV is fine,”

Everything apart from the screen.
You know, the main thing you use a TV for?

“this was in brilliant working condition.”

Note, in particular, the past tense used there.

“I have had the TV for over 4 years.”

That’s nice. Wonder how long the xbox was in the house?

“I know the TV has 2 x HDMI, 2 x Scart, Digital input/output and built in freeview. See photo of back of TV. “

Well, yes, that's definitely the back. Not sure how that helps matters though.

“I am not to sure on any other specifications or the model.”

I wouldn’t worry about; I think “Buggered screen” pretty much covers it regarding the important specifications.

“I dont hold the instruction manual either.”

Like you didn’t hold the Xbox controller?

“If you wish to pay via cash or paypal then either is fine.”

How about magic beans? It is Panto season after all.
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NEGLECT/MISUSE SIGNIFICANT DISCOUNT TO ORIGINAL RRP WORKED UNTIL BROKE

"CANNOT BE BOTHERD GETTING IT CHECKED OUT"

“I HAVE THIS TV WHICH I BOUGHT JUST OVER A YEAR AGO I STILL HAVE THE RECIEPT MANUALS AND EVERTHING FOR THE TV.”

Just over a year ago? Warranty’s run out already?
I’m sure you could still get it checked out, couldn’t you? There’s probably still the manufacturer’s warranty isn’t there?

“THE REASON FOR THIS SALE IS BECAUSE JUST THE OTHER DAY I HAD RED N GREEN LINES APPEARING ON THE SCREEN, AND CANNOT BE BOTHERD GETTING IT CHECKED OUT OR REPAIRED”

I have to say, that’s an impressive level of apathy, even by my standards.
And yet you can be bothered to do an ebay auction.
But can’t be bothered to spell ‘bothered’ correctly.

“MAY BE A SIMPLE FIX, YOU CAN TAKE A LOOK ON THE PICTURES TO SEE WHAT I MEAN.”

Have you tried percussive maintenance (i.e. giving it a thump)? That always used to work on old TV sets.
No, not on the screen, and certainly not with a wii controller.
Of course, that would most likely involve having to get up off your arse to try, so I can see why you might not bother.

“THIS TV COST ME ALOT OF MONEY AND STILL COSTS ALOT OF MONEY IF YOU TAKE A LOOK ON PRICERUNNER OR ANY OTHER WEBSITES.”

And yet you still can’t be bothered to even try getting it fixed.
You realise you’ll have to get up to post it if it sells? Oh wait, collection only.
Are you expecting people to come into your living room to disconnect it too?

“IT IS ONE OF THE TOP OF THE RANGE LCD TVS MADE BY SONY.”

Yeah, well, not like that it isn’t.

“CONTACT ME FOR MORE INFO AND I WILL BE HAPPY TO ANSWER ANY QUESTIONS”

Any questions?
If the Earth is round, why are tables flat?
What colour is a mirror?
How do you pronounce the word ‘ghoti’?

“THE WINNER WILL HAVE TO PICK UP THE TELEVISION “

Or the binmen.
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UNKNOWN INCIDENT WATER/LIQUIDS WORKED UNTIL BROKE

"Fully Integrated Dishwaser"


Dishwaser? Try again.

“Fully Intergrated Dishwasher FAULTY!”

Better, but now you got “Integrated” wrong.
Oh well.

“Does a rinse cycle and starts beeping! Possible faulty heater! Ideal if u can repair yourself!”

Useless if you can’t.

“Otherwise it has never had any other problems!”

Right, so when it washed dishes (or wased them, maybe) it was fine.
Now it doesn’t, it isn’t.
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