Category Archives: WATER/LIQUIDS

"THE DOOR SEAL IS DISGUSTING TO SAY THE LEAST"

April 24, 2012 – 10:00 am

They can be wiped, you know. With a cloth. Or even an old t-shirt or pair of pants if you don’t have a cloth (and it looks like you probably don’t).

Washing machines don’t need replacing because of a bit of mildew around the rim. The cloth or old t-shirt or pants can be soaked in normal household washing up liquid, so there isn’t even a need to buy specialist washing machine door seal cleaning fluid. You can literally CLEAN IT UP YOU DIRTY MAN.

There’s no excuse for it to be in that state, basically, and if you’re trying to sell something a quick wipe usually adds at least 10% to the final sale value.

[View auction]

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NEGLECT/MISUSE UNKNOWN INCIDENT WATER/LIQUIDS

"Keyboard For Keys"

February 9, 2012 – 10:45 am

“Multiple keys missing”

Wonder how that happened?

“keyboard badly bent.”

Oh. That would probably do it.

“Keyboard is sold as untested and is not guaranteed to work”

Guaranteed to not even be able to spell “work”.
Maybe “ork”, if you’re lucky.

“can be used for key replacments”

Or for Scrabble spares.

“Item is for Spares/Repairs, possible liquid damage present”

Oh, just for good measure.

“Please note pictures are for reference only and may not be the exact item you receive, however the item will be exactly as described.”

So, it might actually have a W key.
But may be missing a multitude of others you might want.
Still, if you’re desperate for those 4 points, maybe an upside M key would suffice?
If that’s included.

“Warranty does not cover goods lost or damage in transit if the item has been lost or damaged in the post”

How would you tell?

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HUMAN ERROR NEGLECT/MISUSE WATER/LIQUIDS WORKED UNTIL BROKE

"still dead so it is now here"

January 23, 2012 – 10:45 am

The advertising:

“the iPhone 4 is thin as a rake but the front and back are 30 times stronger than the usual plastic. Reason – aluminosilicate glass, the stuff that windshields of military choppers are made of.”

The reality:

“1x iphone 4 16 gig in nice cosmetic condition. this item was dropped in the sink in water removed within seconds but damage was done”

So, if you ever find you need to quickly disable a military chopper*, quickly dunk it in a bowl of water.

“i cannot check iemi, the sim holder is missing.”

Are the sim holders soluble then? Seems an odd design feature.

And as for the iPad;

“1X IPAD 2,16 GIG WI.FI 3G please study pictures of this item, it was dropped face down and front is a mess. touch is smashed.screen is smashed,”

So. It’s all smashed then?

“back is not damaged in anyway”

Oh, that’s ok then. Obviously they make the backs of ipads out of military chopper windshields, but not the fronts.
Cheapskates.

“power button is intact,when powered on item is on for approx 10 seconds then powers of,then on again and process is repeated.”

If it could display “Just let me die”, it would.

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*not a euphemism

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UNKNOWN INCIDENT WATER/LIQUIDS

"for spared or repairs"

November 16, 2011 – 10:45 am

“Hi you are bidding on 4 pressure washers”

Damn this is getting tedious.
No, I’m not bidding – I’m looking. Not bidding.
Quite definitely not bidding.

“I recently brought 3 of eBay to repair my karcher 111 as needed a hose “

You brought 3 of ebay? Surely you mean you bought 3 of ebay? Although I dread to think how much it would cost to buy just one ebay, let alone 3 of them. That’s rather extravagant, isn’t it?

Oh, you bought 3 OFF ebay - That'd be this auction then, would it?

£23.68. Bargain.
A far better investment than just buying a new hose for £26.49.

“but after picking up found none of the hoses fitted mine so am selling whole lot together as job lot”

£23.68. Wasted.

So now someone else can buy them, add another pressure washer to the pile and sell them for half what they paid for this lot?
It seems to be some form of reverse pyramid scheme.

“the 111 works fully no leaks just needs new hose”

Yes, works fully. Apart from the hose.

“the others are untested and are as brought of eBay”

No doubt the first one was sold by ebay themselves in order to start the ball rolling. They must have made a packet on just the listing fees alone so far, let alone paypal’s cut on top of that.

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UNKNOWN INCIDENT WATER/LIQUIDS WORKED UNTIL BROKE

"Fully Integrated Dishwaser"

November 11, 2011 – 10:45 am

Dishwaser? Try again.

“Fully Intergrated Dishwasher FAULTY!”

Better, but now you got “Integrated” wrong.
Oh well.

“Does a rinse cycle and starts beeping! Possible faulty heater! Ideal if u can repair yourself!”

Useless if you can’t.

“Otherwise it has never had any other problems!”

Right, so when it washed dishes (or wased them, maybe) it was fine.
Now it doesn’t, it isn’t.

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UNKNOWN INCIDENT WATER/LIQUIDS

"few other bits I will chuck in"

November 10, 2011 – 10:45 am

“Only used for 4 months. Only selling as sadly my pet turtle had passed away.”

{Removes hat in respect}
How long do turtles live for, anyway? Is 4 months a good innings?
Is it only the mutant ninja ones that grow up to become teenagers?

“Tank comes with unit (partly damaged on one corner) two heaters, uv light. Internal filter. I also have few other bits I will chuck in as well.”

Like a dead turtle?
Is a dead turtle in a tank better or worse than a dead dog in a box?

“Message me if you don’t want the cabinet and we can come to an arrangement for just the tank.”

And if you don’t want either?
What if you just want the turtle?

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NEGLECT/MISUSE RAGE UNKNOWN INCIDENT WATER/LIQUIDS

"CAGE LAPTOPS"

November 4, 2011 – 10:45 am

Conflicted feelings today: Happy because we have a submission from “Ian” (Thanks Ian!), but sad because it’s brought this sad state of affairs to our attention.
Won’t somebody please stop this cruel trade in cage-fighting laptops?

“WE ARE OFFERING A CAGE OF 100 LAPTOPS”

No thanks, I’ll stick with free-range ones.

“WE RECEIVE APPROXIMATELY 200 UNITS PER DAY READY FOR SALE.”

By “Ready for sale”, I assume you mean “Ready for the bin”?
Or they’re ready for sale before you put them in cages to fight it out, then sell what’s left afterwards?