“Blowing at back amd not secure we
Drove it home but if you are going far i would trailer”
Going far? Like to the bottom of the garden to take a photo of it?
No, you’re right, best not do that.
Far better to make do with securicam footage that makes it look like an appeal on Crimewatch.
“Asolutley no messing on this”
No messing; like taking pictures of it, for starters.
That’d count as messing, obviously.
Honestly not quite sure what to make of this one. I mean, on the one hand it’s re-using and recycling…but on the other hand, it’s still someone trying to make making money out of rubbish.
“We recently were tasked with disposing of a number of 15″ iMac G4 computers. None of them worked, and unfortunately they were the lowest spec that was released.”
“Rather than seeing them end up in landfill we decided to use their exquisite and beautiful design and make a lovely piece for someone’s home.”
Right, so when life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
And when life pays you to take broken imacs away, try to make a bit of extra money selling them as overpriced furniture.
“The Screen has been removed and replaced with a mirror.”
Ideal for people who like Apple products AND enjoy looking at themselves.
Never let it be said Apple fans aren’t image-obsessed, after all.
“The arm still moves in the same way it did when it was a working machine.”
But obviously, nothing else works. Well, that’s well worth £99.99 of anyone’s money, eh?
“The mirror itself is amazingly versatile:
* Moves Up and Down
* Moves Left and Right
* Pivoting forwards and backwards”
And also displaying anything your choose to place in front of it (light permitting).
“This is a unique piece of furniture and will make any desk or dresser complete. It is perfect as a make-up, vanity, shaving, bathroom or general household mirror.”
So, pretty much anywhere you might want to use a mirror then, though I notice they stopped short of ‘ideal to snort coke off’.
And it’s probably best not used as a car’s rear-view mirror.
I think my main problem with this is that if you had a mac that broke and you made this out of it, fair enough.
But anyone paying good money for it? They’re sadly going to be lumbered with an imac that pretty much only ever displays a gullible, vanity-obsessed fool with too much money.
No change from the usual Apple userbase there then, I suppose.
“Hi this is my 37″ tv im selling it has an intermitent fault, “
Well, you’re trying to sell it. Although I think a starting price of £70 may hinder your chances somewhat there.
“The screen gose off now and then.”
“you switch it off and the screen comes back on,it can come back on for weeks at a time.”
I can imagine that could be rather annoying if you’re trying to sleep.
Mind you, it could be quite handy if you’re going away on holiday and want to fool potential burglars that there’s still someone home?
“ive bought a new tv and put this in my bedroom 2 weeks ago and it has just gone off.”
Quick! Get some sleep before it turns itself on again!
“i was going to get it fixed but they will only try and have my eyes out”
What?
No seriously – What?
“they will only try and have my eyes out”?
Is that:
a) a commonly accepted colloquialism that I was previously unaware of,
b) some form of Middlesborough patois, or
c) The seller actually knows someone who accepts eyeballs as a form of payment?
d) ???
“Item condition: Seller refurbished”
Well, that’s, a new one on me, at least. You can buy soil on ebay.
And ‘refurbished’ soil at that.
Can you dig it?
Yes, I’d imagine you probably can.
“SOIL CAN BE LOADED WITH TELEPORTER OUR END ON TO FLAT BED PICK UPS, TRAILER ETC.”
If they have a teleporter, why can’t they just teleport it straight to where you need it, rather than onto a transport opf some kind?
DE Keyboard’s connected to DE cable;
DE cable is connected to DE PS/2 port;
DE PS/2 port’s connected to DE Motherboard;
Now hear DE condition of DE item…
“The condition of this item is USED. Please see the “Condition” tab below for an explanation of condition and the associated warranty.”
£12 Buy It Now.
Plus £7.50 Standard Delivery.
Are Dese^H^H^H^H these things highly sought after and collectable or something? Rare metals used in all the contacts?
I mean, I appreciate a well-made solid keyboard as much as the next slightly unhinged IT bod, but still…
“GATEWAY MA7
What is included
# BASE PLASTICS AND COVERS
# PALMREST PLASTICS
# MOUSE PAD WITH BUTTONS CABLES & PCB
# POWER BUTTON PLASTICS”
That’s a fair bit of plastic for your money I suppose.
Old plastic’s worth a lot of money, isn’t it?
“# MAINBOARD PROBABLY DEAD”
Hmmm. Probably less useful than the plastics?
“# DC JACK LOOKS AND SMELLS OK”
But how does it taste?
“# CELERON CPU?”
Nice to know the seller’s confident in what they’re selling.
“# BIOS BATTERY”
Well a CR2032‘s got to be worth at least a quid brand new…
“What NOT included
# NO SCREEN
# NO HINGES
# NO KEYBOARD
# NO POWER SUPPLY”
# NO THING OF VALUE
Let’s face it, this can only be classified as a ‘gateway laptop’ in the way marijuana is often classed a “gateway drug” – i.e. supposedly leading on to harder and worse drugs. Buy this ‘gateway laptop’ and you’re on a slippery slope leading to buying broken iphones without chargers, smashed Flatscreen TV’s and dismantled Xboxes.
Only a matter of time ’til you give your left arm for a broken child’s toy.
“I Was Told It Is A Female Antique Skull BUT! There Is No Way I Can Possibly Prove This Myself And I Have Been Told By Many People In The Know That It Looks Like A Male Skull So You Will Have To Decide This For Yourself I’m Afraid. Anyway I Would Like To State That I Called Her Sheila And She Has Been Very Well Looked After”
Um, ok. Perfectly normal behaviour.
“And Loved Very Much”
Ewwww.
“And Treated Very Nicely As I Have Great Respect For Items Of This Nature. So The New Owner Must Treat Her With Great Care Please.”
I think we’ll come back to that point in a bit.
“As You Can See By The Photo’s She Is In STUNNING CONDITION! And She Has All Teeth Except One Back Tooth On The Bottom Jaw And She Has One Cracked Tooth Next To The Canine But Her Nasal Spine is In Very Good Condition”
That’s better than many supermodels.
Carrying a bit more weight than many supermodels, mind.
“Also She Will Be Packed Exceedinly Well With A Large Amount Of Bubble Wrap And Padding To Ensure She Can Be Sent Overseas Too Without Any Issues”
Hmmm.
Let’s remind ourselves of the earlier quote, shall we?
“Treated Very Nicely As I Have Great Respect For Items Of This Nature.”
“Also She Will Be Packed Exceedinly Well With A Large Amount Of Bubble Wrap”
And again?
“I Have Great Respect For Items Of This Nature.”
“Will Be Packed…With A Large Amount Of Bubble Wrap”
Great Respect/Large Amount Of Bubble Wrap
Not sure those two sit well together in my mind.
I suppose I should just be grateful Sheila’s not listed as for spares or repair.
The weekend is almost upon us. Maybe you’re going out for a few drinks tonight or tomorrow.
Or maybe tonight AND tomorrow.
Perhaps you’re a cosmopolitan socialite, a social butterfly flitting from function to function, rather than just sitting in the dirt with a large bottle of scrumpy, shouting at passing cars, like we do here at BitBroken towers.
Funtime
In which case, you probably need something new and fabulous to wear, yes?
This is probably right up your street.
(Or “Ceci n’est pas sans doute raison de votre rue” as they probably say in art college or middle-band GCSE French lessons.)
Ladles and jellyspoons, may I present to you, the
“Alexander McQueen Studio sample prototype”
Ooooh! Fancy!
“Blazer style coat unlined, unlabeled, and sleeves to be attached”
Well, that sounds…different. After all, attached sleeves are so last season, dahling.
“It’s cashmere or a mix”
Or a mix? A mix of what?
Polyester/Viscose?
Bri-nylon?
Weed-proof membrane and Tramp’s gussets?
“Classic McQueen though unlabelled”
A more cynical person may say “Prove it!”, but you just have to look at the quality of unfinished workmanship to…oh, hold on.
“Sold as seen no returns”
That’s a bit tricky really, isn’t it?
“BUY IT NOW OR REGRET LATER”
Y’know, I think you’ve accidentally used the word “or” when you meant to use the word “and”.
Mandon.
“THIS IS A LOT OF KITCHEN UTENSILS AND CUTLERY THAT ARE IN A WELL USED CONDITION NONE HAS BEEN TESTED AND ARE BEING SOLD AS SEEN”
None ‘has’ been tested? How bizarre.
Still, how do you go about testing a spatula?
Or a toffee hammer, for that matter.
“NOW FOR THE BORING BIT”
No, that’s alright, thanks.
Another one for scat-obsessed ‘matt‘
“HAS BEEN USED, BUT IN GOOD CONDITION, THERE IS A LITTLE WEAR ON THE FLUSH HANDLE (See pic) BUT GOOD CONDITION.”
Y’know, I’m not sure I can go if you’re going to stare at me like that.
And the same goes for you, too. Stop it before I rub your face in it.
“HAVE CLEANED WITH DISINFECTANT, ALTHOUGH WASN’T USED MUCH.”
Didn’t use much disinfectant? Might as well say you just spat on it and gave it a rub with a hankie.
“THE PIC SHOWING THE RED LIGHT IS THE SENSOR WHEN THE POTTY IS TURNED ON, SO IT KNOWS WHEN YOUR CHILD HAS BEEN TO THE TOILET.”
If the stench isn’t enough of a warning.
“The child will hear a response or encouragement when the seat lid is opened and closed, the flusher is pulled, the toilet paper roll is spun, when the child sits, and most importantly when the child makes a “contribution”.”
“Mmmmm, I really value your contribution”
Still, probably good training for your child to prepare them for working in a corporate environment?
“MY ITEMS ARE FROM A SMOKE FREE HOME.
AND NOW SADLY PET FREE.”
Has someone been flushing the goldfish down the toilet again?
Home