Category Archives: Uncategorized

Uncategorized

"2 iPod docks, digital photo frame, camcorder and cd player "

joblot-ipod-docks

Impressive spanning of several tech generations. Well done on managing to make an iPod dock look like it’s come from 1983.

[View auction]

Uncategorized

Hello world!

Welcome to WordPress. This is your first post. Edit or delete it, then start blogging!

Uncategorized

"4ft Long .. Emo.. Goth Alternative .. Unusual"

Most. Disturbing. Novelty condom. Ever.

“This is a genuine shredded skin from my pet snake Shhhteven !!!”

Shredded? Like the wheat?
So, could be an awful contraceptive or cereal.
Or ornament, if I’m honest.

“He’s a lovely corn snake”

That’s important to know when buying skin; whether the previous owner/wearer was nice or not.
And that they gave it up voluntarily, I suppose.

“and this is his last shed and is about 4ft long”

Wonder how many other people will find this auction, looking for something more like this?

“It’s in one piece and even has the little eye caps which I’ve been told is quit unusual !!”

One piece. So, not shredded?
That rules out the cereal option, then; That’s something at least.
I guess that just leaves the condom or ornament options.
Somewhat torn as to which would be worse.
View Auction

Uncategorized

"Multy gym"

“Manufacturer: Daihatsu
Engine Size: 10 cc
Drive Side: Right-hand drive
Reg. Date: 11 Nov 2000”

Whuh?

“* Our cars are prepared to a high standard through our own workshop
* Our aim is to sell you not only a car but a service
* All our cars are fully serviced, and MOT’d before sale by our own staff.”

No, really – Whuh?
I know precious little about cars and probably even less about keep-fit equipment, but that IS a weight-lifting-bench-thingy (Technical term, I believe) and not a car, isn’t it? I had no idea they needed MOT’s.

“More than just your local garage!”

Or less, if you’re actually looking for a car.
View Auction

Uncategorized

"Guaranteed show stopper!"

“This listing is for a 7 day hire of our mannequin Elvis. He will happily grace your party or event with pride! We think he is a wonderful mannequin and a good addition to any upcoming party.”

Unless it’s an Elvis-lookalike party.

Uncanny, isn’t it? Well worth £116.35 for 7 days.

“Guaranteed show stopper!”

As everyone stops, dumbfounded, mouthing the words “Why?” and “What the…”
Possibly followed by “How much???

“Mannequins are fragile items and should be handled with care. Take time to assemble and dress them.”

Otherwise known as foreplay.

“Wear gloves to avoid finger marks and scratches on the skin surface from rings. We provide instructions on care and assembly with our mannequins.”

Step 1. No heavy petting.
View Auction

Uncategorized UNKNOWN INCIDENT

"PERFECT WORKING ORDER"

“This Television is in PERFECT WORKING ORDER”

Really?

“apart from two faint green lines running down the left hand side of the screen”

Oh no, of course not, silly me.
Forgot where I was for a minute.
And I was fooled by the cunning technique of putting the MISLEADING DESCRIPTION IN BOLD.
Speaking of which…

“APPARENTLY THIS TV HAS A VERY GOOD CHANCE OF BEING FIXED BY RUBBING YOUR FINGER DOWN EACH OF THE TWO LINES DOWNWARDS.”

Also, you could try dancing naked round it during the summer solstice or sacrificing a goat to it.
Probably just as good a chance of fixing it that way.

“THIS IS ADVICE THAT I HAVE HAD OFF ANOTHER EBAYER SO I CANT WHOLLY PROMISE IT WILL WORK”

Oh yes, because all other sellers on ebay are well balanced and not at all a bunch of nutjobs selling any old tat under the pretence of them being “metaphysical items“.

(That last lunatic spotted by “Hels”. Thanks Hels, I think.)

“BUT IT IS AN OPTION FOR WHOEVER WINS THE BIDDING IF YOU WANT A WORKING SET, THANKS”

Ignoring the better option for those wanting a working set, of course.
Which would be to BUY A WORKING SET.
View Auction

Uncategorized

"bid before the auction ends."

“This item contains scratches”

Contains scratches? You’ve managed to scratch inside it?
Blimey.

“so please bear this in mind before making a bid before the auction ends.”

As opposed to the usual practice of only bidding once the auction is over.

“why not make a bid before the auction ends and possibly save some money.”

Or not bid at all and save yourself even more?

“Anything not mentioned in the description or shown in the photo is not included with the item”


Now, you’ve included this photo so I could expect all this lot be included as well, could I?
View Auction

Uncategorized

"HIS MOTHER'S SMILE"

“One small defect on the edge as shown in picture”

Oh yes, because that’s what spoils it, isn’t it?
The chip at the edge.
Not the whole design, oh no.
Because that would most likely be treasonous to suggest.
As would suggesting it would probably be an ideal plate for dieters – You’d leave more food on the plate for fear of exposing that grin underneath.
But I wouldn’t suggest that of course, as I don’t want to end up in the tower.
What a lovely plate. Shame about that damage at the edge.
View Auction

Uncategorized

"APOLOGIES FOR THE BAD PIC"

bad-pic
This is a “good part” for a motorbike that “work fine”. What’s broken here is the seller’s perception and spirit.
View auction.

Uncategorized

"THESE SHOES ARE A BARGIN"


Thanks to “deadmanjones” for this one! Maybe not technically broken, but not exactly 100% either.
More like 50/50 at best, really.

“THANK YOU FOR YOUR INTEREST IN THIS ITEM”

Hmmm. Interest.
Is that the right word?

“THESE SHOES ARE A BARGIN”

Shoes? Don’t you mean boots?
No wait, shoes.
No. Shoe. No, Boot.
I’m confused.

“THESE SHOES/BOOTS ARE NOT AN EXACT PAIR, ONE IS A CHUKKA BOOT”

Oh well that makes perfect sense now.

“BUT WHEN WORN WITH A PAIR OF JEANS YOU CAN’T REALLY TELL AS THEY ARE SO SIMILAR”

Or, even better, you could wear them with the matching shoe (or boot) instead.
Then you really can’t tell.

“BOTH ARE BRAND NEW BUT ARE UNABLE TO FIND THE OTHER SHOES”

Oh well, so much for that plan. Seemed like a good one too.
Maybe if you just wear them in the dark?
Or only when blind people are around.
Just don’t let them touch them.
View Auction