Category Archives: RAGE


"sanyo 42" lcd"

“tv was an absolute belter before my ex threw the tv remote at me,”

An absolute belter, but then wasn’t any more?
Yeah, and the TV an’ all!
(© 1968, Sid James)

“i ducked the tv recieved it, it needs a new lcd but it something i cant afford on the dole, it cost me £650 6 months ago”

And how much was the divorce?
I wonder if the split’s anything to do with spending £650 on a TV?

“im wanting £120 or very nearest offer as its a bargain to the right person”

Hands up if that person’s you, so we can throw a remote at you.
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"Job Lot – 9 x Apple iMac G4/G5 + lots iMac intel Parts"

2 X IMAC G5 17″
AN ENTIRE PALLET OF IMAC INTEL CASING PARTS AND SPARES pallet delivery £50 or collection in H.Wycombe”

Blah, blah, blah, all the usual, nothing particularly special there…

“Do NOT (!!!!) bid if you do not understand English or the above, or if you are an ebay Apple trader from Wales with around 5500 feedback on ebay. you know who you are!!”

Ooooh, intriguing!
Especially coming from someone whose business has the strapline

“everything we touch….turns to solved”

and at the bottom states:

“We may contact you from time to time with promotional offers”

Sounds great. Wonder what went on there then?
If you’re a Welsh eBay Apple trader with around 5500 feedback, do let us know…
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“This is a xbox 360 damaged controller”

Potential early contender for understatement of the year.

“i was still using it even though it had been snapped of for two days untill i brought a new one”

And now he’s offering it for sale so other masochists can try to play while broken plastic digs into their palms. That’s nice of him.
Or maybe not.
Does supplying implements of pain and torture make you a sadist if the recipient wants them?
Surely not supplying them would make you more of a sadist in that case?
Answers on the back of a postcard, dropped in the bin, please.
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“Boots to smashed screen”

Well, that certainly explains what happened to it, I suppose.

“Lid Case light scratches”

Think that’s probably the least of your worries.
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"Working/repair PlayStation 1 with 16 Games"

with broken 3rd party controller!

“Working PlayStation 1 with 16 Games”

Working, you say? Well what’s it doing here then?

“I am selling an old PS1 of mine. I no longer use it.”

Who does?

“The PS1 does work but you need a book on the top to keep the Game covering down.”

Ah, right. Or you could just read the book?

“Both Game controllers are broken but you may be able to repair them.”

Nice, flattering your ego that you may succeed where the seller has failed. Classic technique.

“GAME Cotrollers – Both Spares/Repair – I personally would replace them both””

By selling them.

“Games – 16 GAMES in total

  1. Legacy of Kain – Soul Reaver
  3. X-Blades – inline skater
  4. WF – Ware ZONE
  5. ALIEN TRILOGY – The complete Alien Triloghy in one black-death, white knuckle nightmare
  7. FIFA 99
  8. DUKE NUKEM – Land of the Babes
  9. MARTIAN GOTHIC – unification
  14. MediEvil
  15. SMACK DOWN 2
  16. LE MANS 24HOURS”

Classics, one and all…
In particular, let us not forget “Martian Gothic: Unification” and that wonderfully hypocritical moment on biased-afternoon-bored-housewife-fodder “The Alan Titchmarsh Show” almost a year ago, where Alan’s resident ‘sexpert’ Julie Peasgood, one of the voice actors in the (survival horror) game, claimed she was “categorically against violence for entertainment.”


  • WARNING: Contains nauseating levels of former Sun Editor Kelvin MacKenzie.
  • and Alan Titchmarsh.
  • and Julie Peasgood.
  • and a baying mob of an audience, mooing on-cue like the easily led cattle they are, deliberately wound up and no doubt plied with cheap sherry beforehand.

Kudos to Tim Ingham and C&VG for their stand against it here & here
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What's broken today? Christmas. Christmas is broken.

Oh, the humanity...
Well, it is if you’re Daily Mail writer Charlotte Metcalfe, anyway.
Again, a bit of a break from the usual eBay lunacy I’m afraid. If I keep looking at the chancers on there trying to sell broken rubbish to desperate idiots I fear for (what’s left of) my sanity.

“Damaged”, apparently. £2,495.00 Give me strength.

Unfortunately, madness seems to be prevalent wherever you look. I suppose if you read Daily Mail articles you should expect it anyway, but when there’s lunacy like this around I can’t not share it, can I?
In short, the poor dear wrote earlier this year about how times were getting tough and she couldn’t afford to live as she and her friends once had.
You know, the sort of thing of thing we all take for granted;

“a country house alongside the two we owned between us in London.”

“top-of-the-range Audi as well as a Range Rover”

“two children at private school, a full-time nanny and regular holidays.”

“Farrow & Ball paint and butler sinks.”

“moved to the Cotswolds and I even bought another cottage as an ‘investment’”

Unfortunately, where she previously earned £1,200 a week, she is now (apparently) “Nouveau Pauvre”:

“For many articles I write, I earn no more than £250 and often struggle to make £500 a week”

Which means she can no longer afford to spend

“leisurely afternoons in Harrods ­buying a pretty embroidered cushion, some bath oil and a toy or two here, some smoked salmon and a box of chocolates there”

Yes, I know, gets you right here, doesn’t it?

“to some struggling to pay even basic household bills, this may all sound like another self-pitying whinge from someone who once had it all.”

Yes. Yes, it does, rather. How astute of you.

“But I guess the point is that still — despite the recession — many of us feel under more pressure than ever before to create a perfect Christmas.”

Oh that’s so deep. People want to be happy at Christmas even if they have no money? I don’t think anyone had thought of that point before, had they? Christmas often makes people feel unhappy and desperate rather than full of festive joy? Maybe she could call the Samaritans to let them know this, they might want to get some extra staff to cover the phones when more people suddenly realise they can’t afford £50 for

“ribbons from VV Rouleaux”

to wrap their gifts in?
Since the article kicked off an absolute shitstorm in the comments section (deliberately?) and then on Twitter, she’s (alledgedly) opened a Twitter account in order to

respond to the false allegations and shocking insensitivity shown to my family

Which she seems to have done by continuing in exactly the same vein as her Daily Mail articles, only with added shock and surpise that her opinions would be viewed by the majority of the public as anything other than a warning to others but instead as shallow, materialistic and attention-seeking.
It’s still uncertain at this time whether the twitter account is actually her or just someone (expertly) trolling. If it’s a joke account you’ve got to hand it to them, they seem to have nailed the ‘oh woe is me, I’m suddenly a pauper and now people are being nasty to me’ bit down-pat. It’s particularly fun to see her thanking people for nice comments when it’s obvious they were being sarcastic. Look out for her article next week no doubt bemoaning how horrid and cruel people on the internet are.
See also: Water=wet Fire=hot People=shit
Anyway, I spent half an hour yesterday queuing in Peacocks in order to secure a 40% discount off a pair of pyjamas for a Christmas gift, I’ve got a burst water pipe and my kitchen sink’s blocked. I’ve got 3 kids to buy for; plus wife, god-daughters, nieces, etc and I couldn’t afford to buy an iPad even if I wanted one.
Therefore; Christmas is ruined, would someone like to pay me £250-£500 for this ‘article’ please?
No? Thought not.
Hah! Bumhug!.


samsung 12

Whaddya mean you don’t even know what network it’s on?

Take a good look at the photo reflected in the screen, is this the man who mugged you for your phone? Looks like he’s only going to get a fiver for it, so next time have your charger on you so he can have that as well.

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"This has been totally battered (Axe damage on the screen by the looks of it)"

Axe damage?
Um, Disrepair Man? I think we might need a new category for this one.
Don’t think ‘Rage’ is going to quite cover this one.
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"The main issue with this guitar is that it is completely destroyed!!!"

Brang! Brang! Brang! Ker-ruunch!

These guitars usually RRP for £239 so grab yourself a real bargain!!!

I think “Completely destroyed” generally trumps “real bargain”, although I could be wrong as bidding’s up to £5.50 so far. Is firewood really that difficult to get hold of?
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"Somewhat Broken Guitar Freaks Controller – Japan Import"

One previous owner.
Pete Townshend.
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