Thanks to “Scott” who spotted this, saying “might be good but it’s a bit short”. Well, it never stopped Ronnie Corbett, did it?

{{Generic Riding-the-Zeitgeist-Shortarse picture goes here}}

“THIS NETBOOK LAPTOP IS A HEAP OF SHIT”

Interesting sales technique. Wonder if it will work?

“IT DO NOT WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

The laptop or the sales technique?

“I BOUGHT THIS OFF EBAY”

As you’re now hoping someone else will. Not sure you’ve thought this through.

“OFF LIN CHAO2010″

Who, in November, you gave the following feedback for:

“great to do business with A++++++++Perfect Huge asset to ebay!”

But now say:

“ITS A CON
PAY PAL WILL NOT HELP OR REFUND
AS ITS NOT FROM UK SELLER
SELLER NO HELP WHAT SO EVER
IT SAYS UK SELLER ON LISTING !!!!!!
PAY PAL SAY NOT”

So, even if someone appears to be a UK seller, selling new goods, they can be abroad somewhere selling tat.
Maybe you should have only given them A++++++ instead of A++++++++?

“YOU HAVE BEEN TOLD”

Indeed.

So, did this technique work in selling on this broken piece of imported tat?

“Ended: 12 Dec, 2011 16:45:28 GMT
Starting bid: £30.00 [ 0 bids ] “

In the seller’s own words,

“IT DO NOT WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

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"The seller has not uploaded any pictures. Check the item description for details."

“Voigtlander Vito B 1950s camera. Sold as seen.”

Oh, for pity’s sake.

You’d think someone selling cameras would be able to provide a sodding photo, wouldn’t you?
Unless that’s why they’re selling them?

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Submitted by frequent contributer “Hoopy” with the short but to-the-point summation “Gibberish”.
I’ll be honest, I wasn’t sure whether to use it as I feared we may be making fun of someone with dyslexia, rather than just being genuinely thick.

“for sell matsui 7 digital picture frame model pf a701w i sell this for spares or repairs,no accessories,work or not i not have info,free delyvery only to uk,thanks”

But then I noticed some of their other auctions and they seem to be fairly consistent in their use of the phrases “for sell” and “free delyvery” along with their belief that there’s a car manufacturer called “mercedes benc“.
Maybe the sale of these goods will buy them a dictionary, or perhaps go towards paying for them to have some primary-school-level English lessons. Whether that will work or not i not have info…

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“WELL THE PROBLEM WITH THIS I POD IS THAT IT HAS A CRACKED LCD SCREEN AND THAT IT DISSENT HAVE POWER OR SWITCH ON AND IS NOT SEEN IN MY LAPTOP”

“I DON’T KNOW WHAT IS WRONG WITH IT”

Didn’t you just say what’s wrong with it just then?

“THE I POD HAS SCRATCHES ON THE FOUNT AND BACK AS YOU CAN BE EXPECTED WITH THESE I PODS OF THIS AGE.”

Scratches on the fount are to be expected apparently.
Whether you expected to find a fount on it is another thing entirely.

“THIS I POD IS ONLY GOOD FOR PARTS”

Or the bin.

“OR MAYBE SOME ONE WITH THE KNOW HOW CAN GET THIS LITTLE I POD GOING AGAIN.”

It’s a broken iPod, not the little engine that could.

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Worst.

Product-photo.

Ever.

“I have tried to put as many photos as possible on, so you can see what these are and what the damage is.”

Oh yes, well done there. Maybe you can explain what this one’s meant to be of, though? This isn’t Blade Runner you know; we can’t look round corners in pictures, you actually have to point the camera at least vaguely in the direction of the thing you want photographed.

“I would like to reiterate these are damaged and hence cannot be placed on a car in there current state, so please only buy if you know what to do with them.”

Anyone? Anyone know what you should do with them?

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