Category Archives: DISTURBING

DISTURBING NEGLECT/MISUSE

"HAS QUITE A FEW MOTH HOLES"

mechanical-monkey

It’s a victorian mechanical monkey. We shall be dreaming about this one tonight.

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DISTURBING NEGLECT/MISUSE

"Sindy also has chewed Toes. Maybe of some use to someone."

titian-sindy

Could be used as a dog toothbrush.

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DISTURBING NEGLECT/MISUSE

"Once his head is fixed he will measure approx 20 inches in height"

decap-teddy

Who wants to join my teddy torture revenge vigilante group, in which we seek out the now-42-years-old perpetrators of these crimes and give them the same severity of beatings they gave the likes of poor old Mr Fluff here?

And has “Teddy Bears That Look Like Hitler” been done yet? I can’t check myself as Googling the word “Hitler” would be in violation of my parole terms.

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DISTURBING WORKED UNTIL BROKE

"THESE WATCHES (140+) ARE THE CONTENTS OF THE LOST AND FOUND ROOM"

not-dead-definitely-not-dead-child-watches

Here is the protesting-too-much explanation for this bizarre collection of mementos, typed in menacing caps.

“HAVING WORKED FOR A PRIVATE SCHOOL THROUGH THE 80s UNTILL I RETIRED,MY SON THEN TAKING OVER THE CARETAKERS ROLE UNTILL THE SCHOOL CLOSED, THESE WATCHES (140+) ARE THE CONTENTS OF THE LOST AND FOUND ROOM,A FEW MAY DATE BACK TO THE 90s, SOME CHILDRENS WATCHES AS WELL AS A LARGE AMMOUNT OF GROWN UP ONES, THE SCHOOL HAD CHILDREN FROM A EARLY PREP SCHOOL AGE THROUGH TO SIXTH FORM SO THE AGE RANGE WAS GREAT, MANY OF THE QUARTZ WILL JUST NEED A BATTERY AS THEY WERE RUNNING WHEN HANDED IN, LOTS WERE LEFT BEHIND IN LOCKERS AT THE TERM ENDINGS”

Whatever you say, mate. Whatever you say.

*Pulls jumper sleeve over watch, turns, starts running*

Thanks to reader Hoopy for the submission.

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DISTURBING NEGLECT/MISUSE

"Good used condition apart from lack of eyes"

dam-troll-no-eyes

You can’t blame a child for poking its eyes out. Sleeping with that monster on your drawers and gurning at you can’t be easy, especially it it didn’t originally come with any clothes.

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DISTURBING NEGLECT/MISUSE

"I dont want to go back in that loft again"

hubert-the-self-selling-bear
Rare example of a listing written from the perspective of the item. Poor item. It’s bad enough having your eyes and nose bitten off then spending 25 years going bald in a loft as moths slowly eat your flesh away, and then, when you are finally allowed out, some idiot puts poorly-written words in your mouth and tries to extort money from strangers in return for your freedom.
Who sells their childhood teddy anyway? What sort of ANIMAL would do that?
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DISTURBING NEGLECT/MISUSE

"No ears, no eyes, balding and a pad thats leaking sawdust"

dead-teddy

He’s gone, Timmy. He’s gone. There’s nothing they can do. He lost too much stuffing when his paw became trapped in the tumble dryer mechanism. No, we can’t take him to the vet. No, the vet won’t be able to… he’s not a real… OK, we’ll take him to the vet.

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DISTURBING NEGLECT/MISUSE RAGE

"…part limb missing chewed hand"

blonde-doll-pile-up

The photographer had a little bit too much fun taking these shots. Picture #4 is bordering on the NSFW.

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DISTURBING HIJINKS NEGLECT/MISUSE

"…dry/frizzy hair, scratches to torso"

my-frizzy-hair-barbie

We understand that some modern ladies “like it rough” from listening to the songs on the popular music radio stations and watching their videos on the MTV, but so rough that a whole leg comes off?

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DISTURBING NEGLECT/MISUSE UNKNOWN INCIDENT

"FREDDIE the LAUGHING BEAR"

laughing-teddy-bear

Sorry, Freddie, you’re going on the fire in the garden lest you infect the others. Last time we had a mohair mange outbreak this severe, we lost eight bears, two pandas and a hippo.

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