Category Archives: SIGNIFICANT DISCOUNT TO ORIGINAL RRP

SIGNIFICANT DISCOUNT TO ORIGINAL RRP UNKNOWN INCIDENT

"it feels like you are watching in the cinema"


“Here we have a projection television by one of the top makes in the world TOSHIBA IT HAS 55 INCH SCREEN WHICH IS CRACKED”

Ah yes, “TOSHIBA IT HAS 55 INCH SCREEN WHICH IS CRACKED” – they’re one of the top makes, aren’t they?
Right up there with “SONY WAS WORKING FINE TIL MY SON THREW A WII CONTROLLER AT IT” and “LG I DROPPED ICRECREAM DOWN THE BACK”.

“also needs other repair to get a proper picture”

But you’re not going to tell anyone what that is, as it would spoil the surprise?

“this television is huge & cost around £6000.00 when new”

Well, who’s the mug with more money than sense then?

“it has built in surround sound which sounds totally amazing.”

I should bloody hope so for 6 grand.

“WE HAVE ALREADY REPLACED THIS TV SO IT’S NOW FOR SALES AS SPARES OR REPAIR.”

With a considerably cheaper one, I’d hope.

“due to size & weight this is a local pick up item only & you will need to bring a large van to carry it home in as it will not fit into any car,i assure you of that .”

Oh, I’m sure I could fit it in a hatchback if I took an axe to it. After all, it’s hardly going to affect the picture quality now, is it?

“must be picked up within 3 days of auction ending as we really need the space”

Well maybe you shouldn’t have bought such a stupidly large TV set then?
Just a thought.

“it feels like you are watching in the cinema & you are waiting for the lady with the ice creams to arrive.”

Because you’re cramped in tiny seats with no legroom (due to the size of the set), the floor’s suspiciously sticky and you’ve just had to remortagage the house to pay for a small tray of nachos and a bucket sugary of water that’s actually mainly ice?
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HUMAN ERROR NEGLECT/MISUSE SIGNIFICANT DISCOUNT TO ORIGINAL RRP

"has worked and still works fine"

“hi guys you are bidding on a rear projection Toshiba 42 in telly”

No I’m not.
I’m looking, not buying.
Quite definitely not buying.

“i brought this”

Where did you bring it from and where was it brought to?

“for over 250”

Pounds?
Pesos?
Peanuts?

“around 5 years ago and has worked and still works fine”

Not only is it allegedly still working fine, it has also worked in the past.
Very handy, should you wish to travel back in time to watch anything.

“broken remote”

And that used to work?
Or has previously never worked?

“and the screen has a large crack”

That’s a bit personal, isn’t it?

“but still works”

Of course it does.

“and could easily have screen replaced or just used for parts or repair”

But why would you want to do that if, as you say yourself, it “still works fine”?

“welcome to come and have a look or call for more in fo altho i am a girl and not very clued up on telly info so best to come and have a look”

“Come up and see my large crack, it still works fine.”
Worst come-on line ever.
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NEGLECT/MISUSE PROBABLY FIXABLE SIGNIFICANT DISCOUNT TO ORIGINAL RRP UNKNOWN INCIDENT

"loose smashed pieces included"

“BTC Drop Zero Pendant Ceiling Light DAMAGED NR”

I think someone took the “Drop” part of the title a little too literally, didn’t they?

“The ceiling rose is completely smashed and in pieces and the pendant shade has a large hole in it.”

Oh well, I suppose if you’re handy with the superglue it’s an option, isn’t it?
Might give it an interesting crackled effect.

“Please note that although there are loose smashed pieces included we cannot guarantee that there are not missing pieces.”

Okay, crackled and full of holes, then.

“Please note NO other parts or accessories are included.”

Not even anything to fill in the holes?

“Please see photos for details of everything that is included. A stock image has been used to show the item in its entirety.”

Which is the stock image? They all look broken…

“Original RRP – £130”

New price – 99p + £5 p&p
You may think that delivery cost is a bit excessive, given the price of the product, but that probably includes a lot of careful packaging to ensure it doesn’t get brok…oh.
Oh yeah. I forgot.

“Created in-house by designer Peter Bowles, BTC lights blend materials from bone china and satin chromes to natural cotton and aluminium. The relaxed, “unprocessed” style will sit comfortably in most settings.”

And this new “processed style” will sit quite comfortably in your local tip.
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SIGNIFICANT DISCOUNT TO ORIGINAL RRP WORKED UNTIL BROKE

"must just be something and nothing"

“This is a really nice TV from Samsung that was used im my bedroom but has now been upgraded to a 32 inch so is no longer needed.
Is in EXCELLENT condition.”

Really? Oh no, wait, here it comes.

“HERE IS THE PROBLEM………There is a intermittent fault;”

Figures.
Excellent condition apart from that though.

“Sometimes it will just swith off or just does not want to turn on, sometimes it is fine. This has happened a few times but to be honest the last time I turned it on, last week when taking the pictures for this ad it stayed on for over 3 hours before I actually turned if off! I have had it in a repair shop who said he couldn’t find anything wrong with it so must just be something and nothing.”

“Something and nothing.”
That’s the technical description of the fault, obviously.

“It cost over £340.00 new and has not really been used that much as it was only in the bedroom and must get switched on once or twice a week!”

And yet it still broke.

“If you win the bid the TV must be collected along with the cash within 3 days.”

You have to collect the TV and collect the cash? Now it’s sounding tempting.
How much cash are we talking about?
Oh, just £40 at the moment.
And a drive to Bradford to pick it up.
Not really sure that’s worth it, sorry.
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SIGNIFICANT DISCOUNT TO ORIGINAL RRP

"outstanding picture quality"

Peekaboo! I see you!

“Only 18 Months old and cost me £680”

Significant discount category? Yes, I think so.

“Faulty JVC 42″ Plasma screen TV suitable spares or repair.”

Or taking to the local dump.

“I can guarantee its not been near or seen any riots EVER !!!!!!!!!!”

Because it broke before the recent riots were shown on TV?
And you never saw any footage of any other riots prior to that either?
On an entirely unconnected note, I wonder what he’s watching TV on now and where he got it from?

“This 42 inch widescreen plasma screen features outstanding picture quality as well as a built in Freeview tuner, A high static contrast ratio of 3000:1 offers a crisp image while the Nicam 3D sound system brings digital audio to your living room. Including a table top stand and a wall mounting option as well as a choice of connection options including HDMI means this TV will easily integrate into your home entertainment system.”

“As stated this TV is FAULTY Spares or Repair only “

Which rather renders the previous paragraph null and void really, doesn’t it?
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SIGNIFICANT DISCOUNT TO ORIGINAL RRP

"still very usable"

Complete and utter Kent

“This copy has a damaged cover through use but is still very usable
This a heavy book hence the postage cost but nonetheless costs at least £11.50 new”

£4.15 for “Economy Delivery”? You’ve got to think how that’s going to affect the fuel economy of your car, lugging around something that heavy all the time.
You may also want to think about all the road layouts that have changed in the last 10 years that would probably be in a new one.

“Ask if you need further information and/or photos (and include your email if you would like further photos).”

How about some photographs of the pages detailing the one-way system in Ashford?
Oh no, wait, it hasn’t had one since 2007, has it?

“Many other items for sale due to immigrating to Canada.”

Canada you say? Would you be interested in a map?
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SIGNIFICANT DISCOUNT TO ORIGINAL RRP WORKED UNTIL BROKE

"Iam not sure why it dose this."

Nice Austin Powers Tribute...

“This Scooter cost over £1950 when it was brand new”

That’s nice. It’s not new now though, is it?

“This scooter has been in storage for a few month, before it went into storage it worked fine.”

So, that’s “Significant discount to original RRP” and “Worked until broke” categories already, then?

“Sometimes this scooter dose drive and sometimes it doesn’t drive.”

Great. Now I have “Some girls” (by Racey) stuck in my head.
Marvellous.
Some scooters will, some scooters won’t
Some scooters need a lot of lovin’ and scooters don’t

“When you leave it for a while, it works again. Iam not sure why it dose this.”

Maybe it’s just old and a bit out of breath?
Perhaps you ought to get it a mobility scooter to get around on?

“Comes with charger”

Well that’s something.

“The seat can turn sideways”

Is it meant to?

“I can deliver this scooter up to 100 miles from Worthing, West Sussex for £60. I dont own a vehicle, £60 will cover my vehicle rental + petrol”

That’s £60 one-way, obviously, not £60 for a 200-mile round trip. He’ll ride the scooter to you, then hire a car to come home.
As long as it “dose drive”, of course.
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SIGNIFICANT DISCOUNT TO ORIGINAL RRP UNKNOWN INCIDENT

"The picture quality is very good"

“The picture quality is very good however two vertical black lines appear on the screen intermittently.”

Oh but the quality of those two lines! Oooh, they’re very good…

“We have purchased a new tv so we just want this one to go.”

What an excellent decision.
Might be giving people ideas there, mind.

“there is nothing wrong with it apart from the lines.”

And, in fact, they give it a lovely bay window effect.

“It cost £2000 new approx 7 years ago, its got the remote with it.”

I would bloody hope so for 2 grand.

“it doesn’t have a stand as its been wall mounted and we have used the bracket to mount our new one.”

There they go, mentioning getting a new tv again.
They ought to be careful they don’t give potential marks, sorry, customers ideas.
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SIGNIFICANT DISCOUNT TO ORIGINAL RRP

"Philips TV Television"

“We try to show everything you need to know in our item description and photos”

It doesn’t say whether it’s working or not, but I don’t think it really matters.
I think the picture says all that’s needed anyway.
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HUMAN ERROR NEGLECT/MISUSE SIGNIFICANT DISCOUNT TO ORIGINAL RRP

"just requiers a replacment screen"

“this tv cost me 200 new and is only around 12 mth old”

Well who’s the foolish one then?
Oh wait, that could possibly be the two people currently bidding on it as I write this.
Give me strength.

“due to one of my small children nocking it of the stand the screen is now damaged”

Tch, kids, eh?
Still, maybe without a TV they’ll have to read a book for entertainment instead?
You never know, they may even learn about punctuation and spelling.

“sound dvd player everything works as you can see from pics the tv still turns on it just requiers a replacment screen”

i.e. not everything works, as you can see from the (singular) pic.
Basic arithmetic is obviously a problem as well.

“easy fix if you no wot you are doing”

You assume.

“i can not find the remote i may do not a garantee tho”

Never mind finding the remote, find yourself a frigging dictionary.
And not a fonetic wun.
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