Author Archives: Disrepair Man

"Things do move and turn on it but it needs some tlc to make it like new"

rusty-bmx

It needs a little bit more than TLC. It would require a 12-part TV series hosted by Sarah Beeny to make this rusted mess anything even remotely resembling new.

Thanks to Morgan for the find.

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"VEIWING ENCORAGE AND WELLCOME"

broken-mower

Three out of four words wrong in one sentence. And in Comic Sans as big as it’ll go. Slow clap. Such a slow clap that my hands still haven’t touched together yet. Still haven’t. Still haven’t.

*Clap*

Thanks to Hoopy for finding this monstrosity.

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"HAS QUITE A FEW MOTH HOLES"

mechanical-monkey

It’s a victorian mechanical monkey. We shall be dreaming about this one tonight.

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"2 iPod docks, digital photo frame, camcorder and cd player "

joblot-ipod-docks

Impressive spanning of several tech generations. Well done on managing to make an iPod dock look like it’s come from 1983.

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"I have tried to change one of the pieces by hitting it with a hammer"

play-centre-hammer

That swing looks too high as well. Did you have to make the rope “fit” with a knife? And should it be sitting over concrete slabs like that? We’re no experts in child safety, but we can imagine seeing this scene in black and white in a local newspaper, two days after some sort of head/neck/spine tragedy has unfolded.

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"Our little boy hit it with a toy"

Samsung-UE40D5520-broken

The trick is to bend one of their fingers back as far as it will go if the child looks like going near the TV screen. They soon learn. You can make them cry simply by turning to the TV pages of the Argos catalogue after a few “lessons.”

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"Sindy also has chewed Toes. Maybe of some use to someone."

titian-sindy

Could be used as a dog toothbrush.

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"In the market for some cheap gold?, patient enough to test and unbend Pins?"

cpus-4-gold

Is that a thing people do now? Scavenging gold out of broken processors, like modern, nerdy, hunched-over-a-computer-desk rag & bone men?

To answer our own question, yes it is and it appears to be quite the grim task.

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"This was a fabulous camera until my wife dropped it"

lumix-tz8-wonky-lens

Blame is always best apportioned through a channel she’s unlikely to read.

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"NONE OF THE ITEMS IN THIS LOT ARE NI WORKING CONDITION!"

controller-s-broken

We got through quite a few game controllers during our formative, more aggressive years, when every failure to complete a “level” was accompanied by a frustrated whimper, sometimes even a self-inflicted dead leg, and the controller, or the “stick of joy” as they used to be known, flying through the air from the frustration of having some 8-bit brain defeating us time and time again.

But we knew the value of things. The controller would fly through the air towards the sofa or the pillow. That’s the difference. Kids today know they can have another one tomorrow and won’t be told they have to wait until Christmas. So they can throw them at the brick work. Nasty little shits.

But 26?

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