Monthly Archives: May 2012

HIJINKS HUMAN ERROR NEGLECT/MISUSE NEVER WORKED IN THE FIRST PLACE RAGE

"I have tried to change one of the pieces by hitting it with a hammer"

play-centre-hammer

That swing looks too high as well. Did you have to make the rope “fit” with a knife? And should it be sitting over concrete slabs like that? We’re no experts in child safety, but we can imagine seeing this scene in black and white in a local newspaper, two days after some sort of head/neck/spine tragedy has unfolded.

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NEGLECT/MISUSE RAGE WORKED UNTIL BROKE

"Our little boy hit it with a toy"

Samsung-UE40D5520-broken

The trick is to bend one of their fingers back as far as it will go if the child looks like going near the TV screen. They soon learn. You can make them cry simply by turning to the TV pages of the Argos catalogue after a few “lessons.”

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DISTURBING NEGLECT/MISUSE

"Sindy also has chewed Toes. Maybe of some use to someone."

titian-sindy

Could be used as a dog toothbrush.

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PROBABLY FIXABLE SIGNIFICANT DISCOUNT TO ORIGINAL RRP

"In the market for some cheap gold?, patient enough to test and unbend Pins?"

cpus-4-gold

Is that a thing people do now? Scavenging gold out of broken processors, like modern, nerdy, hunched-over-a-computer-desk rag & bone men?

To answer our own question, yes it is and it appears to be quite the grim task.

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HUMAN ERROR WORKED UNTIL BROKE

"This was a fabulous camera until my wife dropped it"

lumix-tz8-wonky-lens

Blame is always best apportioned through a channel she’s unlikely to read.

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NEGLECT/MISUSE RAGE

"NONE OF THE ITEMS IN THIS LOT ARE NI WORKING CONDITION!"

controller-s-broken

We got through quite a few game controllers during our formative, more aggressive years, when every failure to complete a “level” was accompanied by a frustrated whimper, sometimes even a self-inflicted dead leg, and the controller, or the “stick of joy” as they used to be known, flying through the air from the frustration of having some 8-bit brain defeating us time and time again.

But we knew the value of things. The controller would fly through the air towards the sofa or the pillow. That’s the difference. Kids today know they can have another one tomorrow and won’t be told they have to wait until Christmas. So they can throw them at the brick work. Nasty little shits.

But 26?

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UNKNOWN INCIDENT

"It hasn't been dropped or stood on. I just went to turn it on one morning and it was like this"

broken-kindle

Tooth fairy dropped her sack on it? Are you SURE you didn’t get up for a wee in the night?

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NEGLECT/MISUSE

"Would suit student accommodation"

student-sofa

…or any location where people tend to sleep on sofas, slowly choking on their own vomit (right).

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HUMAN ERROR NEGLECT/MISUSE UNKNOWN INCIDENT WORKED UNTIL BROKE

"Tinkering fan might be able to sort socket out."

“TAPE PLAYER IS DEAD
RADIO WORKS ONLY
AUDIO SOCKET IS SENSITIVE TO MOVEMENT”

So, unable to play cassettes and you can’t move about while you’re listening to it.
Not really much of a Walkman, is it?

“Worked fine until recently.”

One of these days we’ll find an auction that ticks ALL the category boxes.
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DISTURBING NEGLECT/MISUSE

"Once his head is fixed he will measure approx 20 inches in height"

decap-teddy

Who wants to join my teddy torture revenge vigilante group, in which we seek out the now-42-years-old perpetrators of these crimes and give them the same severity of beatings they gave the likes of poor old Mr Fluff here?

And has “Teddy Bears That Look Like Hitler” been done yet? I can’t check myself as Googling the word “Hitler” would be in violation of my parole terms.

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