Monthly Archives: April 2012

HIJINKS NEGLECT/MISUSE PROBABLY FIXABLE

"YOU ARE BIDDING ON WHAT IS IN THE PHOTO"

Steampunk Mrs Davros
Well, I guess if she could carry the thing upstairs without scuffing the walls then she could be worth £9.99.
Though I suppose if she turns out to be a steampunk Dalek then stairs won’t be a problem.
Exterminations could be a problem. But not stairs.

“old wooden blanket box needs ome work”

I’m not going anywhere near the “old box needs some work” gags.
Have to leave something to go in the comments field, after all.

“34.35..37.38.40.41”

Those are some very strange measurements…

“I will post over seas but please contact me for costs and also I will not be responsible for any breakages items will be pack securely and bubble wrapped”

With or without airholes?

“I will post over seas but please contact me for costs and also I will not be r
Eesponsible for any breakages items will be pack securely and bubble wrapped

Okay, okay, we heard you the first time. When it was all spelled and formatted correctly.
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DISTURBING NEGLECT/MISUSE PROBABLY FIXABLE

"'FILTHY, GRUBBY, WORN-OUT, SAD' BEST DESCRIBES HIM"

mr-donkles

I WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY AGAIN, MISTER DONKLES (after you have been boiled for 30 minutes to kill what’s living in your mane).

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UNKNOWN INCIDENT

"THEES ALL PRINTERS UNTESTED BUT AM SALLING SPARES OR REPAIRS"

kyocera printer

50! Never buy a Kyocera printer seems to be the subtext here.

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UNKNOWN INCIDENT

"JUST STOPPED HEATING FOOD UP THE OTHER DAY"

broken-matsui

Maybe try marketing it as a fully-working potato rotator then? People will always need their potatoes rotating.

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NEGLECT/MISUSE

"IT JUST NEEDS SOME TLC"

caravan-toilet-tlc

Just looking at all the mildew in there is bringing on my asthma.

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DISTURBING NEGLECT/MISUSE

"job lot of electrical items and bits"

earthquake-debris

Can’t decide if this photo best represents tsunami debris washed up on a distant coastline six months after a devastating tidal wave, or the floor of our lounge circa Christmas Day 1997.

Either way, we’re tempted to indulge in modern street language and type something along the lines of “WTF?”.

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PROBABLY FIXABLE

"THE PRINTER LCD SHOWS 'FUSER TEMP – PRINTER ERROR'."

fuser-temp

FUSER TEMP – PRINTER ERROR is today’s teatime brain teaser. TEMP. That could be short for temperature? The fuser is probably where the ink “fuses” with the paper by the nozzles. So cool the fuser means… blow on it! BLOW ON IT!

Buy it, blow on it, resell it for a quick £25 profit. Easy money.

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PROBABLY FIXABLE

"it used to work fine then all of a sudden started printing out a bit wonky hope this makes sense"

wonky-photosmart

Did you jiggle the tray? It could even be something as simple as one slightly jammed roller. Don’t give up on it so easily. Minor wonkiness can often be fixed by the unskilled layman.

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DISTURBING

"NOW I THINK THESE GOT TO BE AT LEAST ONE WORKING ONE AMONGEST THIS LOT, BUT WHO KNOWS"

stereos

Christ almighty. Civilisation’s got noticeably worse since lunch time.

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NEGLECT/MISUSE PROBABLY FIXABLE WATER/LIQUIDS

"THE DOOR SEAL IS DISGUSTING TO SAY THE LEAST"

disgusting-door-seal

They can be wiped, you know. With a cloth. Or even an old t-shirt or pair of pants if you don’t have a cloth (and it looks like you probably don’t).

Washing machines don’t need replacing because of a bit of mildew around the rim. The cloth or old t-shirt or pants can be soaked in normal household washing up liquid, so there isn’t even a need to buy specialist washing machine door seal cleaning fluid. You can literally CLEAN IT UP YOU DIRTY MAN.

There’s no excuse for it to be in that state, basically, and if you’re trying to sell something a quick wipe usually adds at least 10% to the final sale value.

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