Monthly Archives: February 2012

HUMAN ERROR PROBABLY FIXABLE

"Have I wasted the listing fee, I wonder?"

Do you live at 5 Toothill Avenue Brighouse HD6 3SA?

Does anyone?


If so, this is the auction for you!

“Address Embossing Seal: 5 Toothill Avenue Brighouse HD6 3SA, Tel Brighouse 2859″

“This is a very selective listing!”

You’re not kidding.

“I guess the only buyers are likely to be the residents at 5 Toothill Avenue or their friends!”

Or anyone wishing to pretend they live there for some reason.
Does living at the centre of the Leeds/Rochdale/Barnsley triangle hold a particular cachet I am unaware of?
Is it likely to help you attain membership to the nearby prestigious Rastrick Bowling Club?
Or does it just scare the bejesus out of local kids, having a garden that looks like it could be harbouring Stig of the dump?
I just know that if it does sell to anyone at that address, I wouldn’t want to be the postman or courier who has to try to deliver it there, unless I had a machete.
In which case, I suppose this might come in handy.
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Uncategorized

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NEGLECT/MISUSE UNKNOWN INCIDENT WATER/LIQUIDS

"Keyboard For Keys"

“Multiple keys missing”

Wonder how that happened?

“keyboard badly bent.”

Oh. That would probably do it.

“Keyboard is sold as untested and is not guaranteed to work”

Guaranteed to not even be able to spell “work”.
Maybe “ork”, if you’re lucky.

“can be used for key replacments”

Or for Scrabble spares.

“Item is for Spares/Repairs, possible liquid damage present”

Oh, just for good measure.

“Please note pictures are for reference only and may not be the exact item you receive, however the item will be exactly as described.”

So, it might actually have a W key.
But may be missing a multitude of others you might want.
Still, if you’re desperate for those 4 points, maybe an upside M key would suffice?
If that’s included.

“Warranty does not cover goods lost or damage in transit if the item has been lost or damaged in the post”

How would you tell?
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"4ft Long .. Emo.. Goth Alternative .. Unusual"

Most. Disturbing. Novelty condom. Ever.

“This is a genuine shredded skin from my pet snake Shhhteven !!!”

Shredded? Like the wheat?
So, could be an awful contraceptive or cereal.
Or ornament, if I’m honest.

“He’s a lovely corn snake”

That’s important to know when buying skin; whether the previous owner/wearer was nice or not.
And that they gave it up voluntarily, I suppose.

“and this is his last shed and is about 4ft long”

Wonder how many other people will find this auction, looking for something more like this?

“It’s in one piece and even has the little eye caps which I’ve been told is quit unusual !!”

One piece. So, not shredded?
That rules out the cereal option, then; That’s something at least.
I guess that just leaves the condom or ornament options.
Somewhat torn as to which would be worse.
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