Monthly Archives: December 2011

HUMAN ERROR PROBABLY FIXABLE

"CHRISTMAS GIFT IDEA"

Bin Man?

“ACTION FIGURE
CAN’T REMEMBER WHO HE IS”

Can anyone help this poor action figure remember who he is?
Captain Amnesia?
Blackout?
The Yellow Icicle?

“IF THIS ITEM IS PAID BY TUESDAY 20TH DECEMBER, I WILL TRY TO POST IT ON WEDNESDAY 21ST DECEMBER”

Try to post it.
Not the most comforting of assurances, that.
I can just picture Christmas morning now.
“I bought you a second-hand amnesiac action figure from ebay, but it hasn’t arrived yet. Happy Christmas.”
Although, maybe that could be better than actually receiving The Mighty Skirting-Board Man for Christmas?
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HIJINKS HUMAN ERROR WORKED UNTIL BROKE

"a moment of madness"

“I am selling my Samsung HD 26″ TV for Spares or Repairs.”

Trying to sell, you mean.
Oh wait, 4 bids already.
Give me strength.

“The TV is damaged and wont work.”

Did they not read that bit? Or at least see the picture?

“The screen had a collision with an xbox controller during a moment of madness and is now in need of repair, damage can be seen via the photos.”

I suppose it was only a matter of time once Microsoft released Kinect to try and steal some of the wii’s thunder.
And now 4 other people are obviously having a moment of madness themselves.

“Everything else with the TV is fine,”

Everything apart from the screen.
You know, the main thing you use a TV for?

“this was in brilliant working condition.”

Note, in particular, the past tense used there.

“I have had the TV for over 4 years.”

That’s nice. Wonder how long the xbox was in the house?

“I know the TV has 2 x HDMI, 2 x Scart, Digital input/output and built in freeview. See photo of back of TV. “

Well, yes, that's definitely the back. Not sure how that helps matters though.

“I am not to sure on any other specifications or the model.”

I wouldn’t worry about; I think “Buggered screen” pretty much covers it regarding the important specifications.

“I dont hold the instruction manual either.”

Like you didn’t hold the Xbox controller?

“If you wish to pay via cash or paypal then either is fine.”

How about magic beans? It is Panto season after all.
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HUMAN ERROR UNKNOWN INCIDENT

"RUBBISH NETBOOK LAPTOP"


Thanks to “Scott” who spotted this, saying “might be good but it’s a bit short”. Well, it never stopped Ronnie Corbett, did it?

Life's Too Short Johnny Depp Warwick Davis Ricky Gervais Populist Whoring Hello Web Spiders Harry Potter Leprechaun Willow Ewok Time Bandits What else?

{{Generic Riding-the-Zeitgeist-Shortarse picture goes here}}

“THIS NETBOOK LAPTOP IS A HEAP OF SHIT”

Interesting sales technique. Wonder if it will work?

“IT DO NOT WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

The laptop or the sales technique?

“I BOUGHT THIS OFF EBAY”

As you’re now hoping someone else will. Not sure you’ve thought this through.

“OFF LIN CHAO2010”

Who, in November, you gave the following feedback for:

“great to do business with A++++++++Perfect Huge asset to ebay!”

But now say:

“ITS A CON
PAY PAL WILL NOT HELP OR REFUND
AS ITS NOT FROM UK SELLER
SELLER NO HELP WHAT SO EVER
IT SAYS UK SELLER ON LISTING !!!!!!
PAY PAL SAY NOT”

So, even if someone appears to be a UK seller, selling new goods, they can be abroad somewhere selling tat.
Maybe you should have only given them A++++++ instead of A++++++++?

“YOU HAVE BEEN TOLD”

Indeed.
So, did this technique work in selling on this broken piece of imported tat?

“Ended: 12 Dec, 2011 16:45:28 GMT
Starting bid: £30.00 [ 0 bids ] “

In the seller’s own words,

“IT DO NOT WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

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NEGLECT/MISUSE UNKNOWN INCIDENT

"has been sitting outside for 4 years"

“100% of the final sale price will support Scottish Wildlife Trust”

But the Scottish wildlife will mostly be aided by getting this rubbish out of their habitat.

“The Scottish Wildlife Trust was established in 1964 with the purpose to advance the conservation of Scotland’s biodiversity for the benefit of present and future generations.”

Having said that, maybe having the chassis from old caravans laying around increases biodiversity?

“has been sitting outside for 4 years after dismantling”

See? After all that time there could be all sorts of sleekit, cowering, timorous beasties making their homes in it. And you’re looking to destroy that, hoping to make (currently) a quick £11.50.
You monsters.

“Condition – used – fair”

If that’s the case, I’d hate to see one listed as “Condition – used – poor”

“may be suitable for spares or conversion to a trailer.”

Or to scrap metal.
Oh wait, it pretty much looks like that’s been done already.
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UNKNOWN INCIDENT

"Spares Or Repair Unless You're Really Determined"


Spotted by the folks at GamesAsylum, no doubt on one of their regular trawls of ebay, trying to find the rare consoles and games that aren’t a load of broken tat.

“I received this Game Gear from someone who I believe had this in their shed for a while. If you blow on the cartridge holder you get a lovely smell of shed mold.”

Maybe the mould’s from a shed, maybe it’s from Sonic the Hedgehog’s decomposing corpse. You decide.

“Anyway. When this does work (may take a couple of attempts),”

That’s after placing your lips against something that smells of mould, remember.

“there’s a couple of lines through it but it is just about playable if you tip it back – I’d recommend getting this to repair it though.”

Or to research bacterial germ warfare.

“The overall casing is in excellent condition, no cracks or anything.”

But may harbour enough fungi to house an entire colony of Smurfs.
Smurves.
Smurfi.
Whatever.

“No game included – the picture is just to show you how it works but I will throw in the wrist strap and an AC adapter that you can plug in downstairs and still play the thing on the loo – well, it’s not quite THAT long but close.”

A wrist strap? So you can ‘safely’ carry your bacterial cultures around with you without ‘fear’ of losing them. I say ‘safely’ and ‘fear’ like that as I’m unconvinced how safe it would actually be (I’ve seen Survivors, after all) and I think I’d be more fearful of walking around with a large lump of mould attached to my wrist.
I’ll admit the AC adapter’s fairly useful though, these things just eat batteries otherwise. Although introducing an entire smurf colony to luxury of constant electricity supply may not do your electricity bill any favours.

“Happy bidding!”

Because you’ll probably have more fun bidding on it than trying to play with it, should you win.

“P.S. The postage is to cover the cost of sending the AC adapter. You could kill someone with that thing.”

Hopefully a Smurf.
Here's hoping.
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