"The Rolls Royce of all musical instruments."

Ok, bit of a break from the norm today, partly because I just found it amusing but also because I just really can’t be bothered trawling through all the tat today.
No-one’s sent anything in for ages, what are you lot all up to, eh?
Ok, so it’s not actually broken, but that may because it is:

“Built to the highest quality using military and aviation spec components”


“(the red buttons in the keyboard are the ones designed and used in the B52 military aircraft!)”

Somewhere, there is a B-52 pilot wondering where half his cockpit has gone.

“Prior to my owning this system, it was owned by a world (very) famous musician/composer”

Timmy Mallett?

“I guarantee that you will have heard many of the tracks it was used on, and quite probably you have heard it performing in a movie at some stage.”

Deaf people, prepare your complaints now.

“Included in the price is every music sound library made for Synclavier, by Synclavier.
(They cost 2,000 dollars EACH to buy new)
It also comes with the recent MegaMusic library for Synclavier included at no extra cost. (It cost £2,400 to buy new.)
This contains almost 17,000 musical instruments and unique sounds created on the Synclavier for the Synclavier.”

“When it was new the system cost 200,000 dollars. Yes, you did read that right. Two hundred big ones.”

See? There’s the “Significant discount” category ticked already. Stop complaining.

“You will be joining the most exclusive instrumental club in the world.”

Unless anyone wants to buy a kazoo from me for £30,000?
So, why sell something worth so much for such a (comparatively) low price?

“The Sob Story
Sadly for the Synclavier, my wife produced another child a few months back,
and while this is lovely it does mean that space is now diminishing by the day.
Please buy my Synclavier. My kids are eating me out of house and home.
(and what the hell do they do with all that toilet paper? We are always running out and it is costing me a fortune”

“I am happy to consider any sensible cash offers for a quick sale.”

For the kids or the Synclavier?
Wonder if he’ll accept payment in toilet rolls instead?
View Auction


  • Feral Techie
    November 3, 2011 - 11:22 am | Permalink

    If you’re into early 80s synthesisers, it’s a pretty good one. As long as you can keep the Mac II running.
    Or you could do it all in software on any machine built in the last ten years, plus a decent MIDI keyboard.
    (They say I have no soul. Actually I have several.)

  • Ric
    November 4, 2011 - 5:54 am | Permalink

    Animoog for iPad $29.99. Nuff said.

  • anonymous[1]
    November 4, 2011 - 12:43 pm | Permalink

    Synclavier. Synclavier. Synclavier. That’s one of those words that when repeated six or eight times it loses all meaning and doesn’t even sound like a real word anymore. Kind of reminds me of “clavicles”.
    Clavicles. Clavicles. Clavicles. Funny word, clavicles.

  • Eks
    November 10, 2011 - 1:07 pm | Permalink

    “It is much much more than a sampling keyboard, this manipulates sounds and creates sounds which never existed before. ”
    How does that saying go again?
    If a Synclavier invents a sound and no-one is around to hear it, does the sound exist?

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