Monthly Archives: October 2011

PROBABLY FIXABLE UNKNOWN INCIDENT WORKED UNTIL BROKE

"IT IS THE PROJCTORY BULB"

“IT HAS WORKED PERFECT FOR THE LAST FIVE YEARS”

So, if you can travel back in time you should be able to get 5 years perfect use out of it before it packs up.

“BUT NOW SEAMS TO HAVE A FAULT”

Well, it wouldn’t be here otherwise, would it?

“THE TV SWITCHES ON BUT THE LIGHTS AT THE FRONT JUST KEEP FLASHING ON+OFF”

Suitable for discos and parties then?

“I HAVE BEEN TOLD IT IS THE PROJCTORY BULB COSTS ABOUT £69 “

What the hell is a projctory bulb?

“SO THATS WHY I AM SELLING AS SPARES/REPAIR”

Rather than buying one of these mysterious ‘projctory bulbs’ and getting it fixed?
If you wouldn’t recommend doing that yourself, why would you think anyoine else should try it?

“I DO HAVE THE STAND FOR THIS TV SELLING IN MY OTHER ITEMS”

Other items which include:

Must’ve been a hell of a wedding.
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UNKNOWN INCIDENT

“ABSOLUTE SPARES OR REPAIRS ONLY”
“IF YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND THE ABOVE THEN PLEASE DO NOT BID”

Spares or repairs, yes I understand that.
Absolute spares or repairs, no. Not really.
Oh well, I suppose I’d better not bid then, eh?

“BID THAN EXPECT TO PAY TIME WASTERS WILL BE REPORTED TO EBAY AND BLOCKED”

Bid than expect to pay?
Nope, I’m not understanding that either, sorry.

“ALL FUNTIONS WORK EXCEPT INNER SCREEN BROKEN SEE PHOTO”

Oh well, the screen on a TV’s the least important ‘funtion‘, isn’t it?

“MUST TEST ON COLLECTION SOLD AS SEEN NO GUARANTEE”

Just to confirm ‘yup, it’s knackered’?
I think we can safely assume that without wasting any more time.

“REMINDER TO ALL BIDDERS THE SCREEN IS INTACT BUT THE PICTURE IS BROKEN”

The screen is intact but the picture is broken.
Do you understand the above?

“IF YOUR NOT SURE PLEASE DO NOT BID”

In short, do not bid.
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HUMAN ERROR NEGLECT/MISUSE

"i have claimed on my insurance"

“For auction is a philips 47 inch ambilight telly thats faulty..”

Faulty? Or damaged?
I’m suspecting the latter; it didn’t develop that fault by itself, did it?

“My 2 and a half yr old fell over with a few cars in his hand and landed on the screen and as you can see cracked the lcd..”

Damaged by a giant toddler. I’m amazed the damage isn’t worse than that, especially considering hulkbaby was carrying “a few cars” at the time.

“Must add on also.. i have claimed on my insurance with this telly to replace it.. and i cant accept a return!”

What must their insurance premiums be like is they’re insured against hulk attack?
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HUMAN ERROR WORKED UNTIL BROKE

"was fully working until"

“50” Phillips plasma tv was fully working until decorators knocked it over and broke the screen.”

Decorators. That’s a new one.
Worked until broke, less so.
Maybe they thought it looked better this way?

“Relisted due to non paying bidder – Please only bid if you actually want the t.v. The last person didnt make any contact what so ever.”

A perfect example of buyer’s remorse in action.
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SIGNIFICANT DISCOUNT TO ORIGINAL RRP WORKED UNTIL BROKE

"You can see dancing pixels…"

“Good working condition.”

Oh, that’s odd. Makes a change though, I suppose.

“Around 5-6 years old (original cost £2200)”

And now up for sale with a Buy It Now price of £250.
Why would you want to do that if it’s in good working condition?

“Issues.”

Should have known.

“The Ariel socket got damaged in transit so that isn’t functional. (Scart/HDMI/Component/VGA Only) again – NO ariel.”

Hence the almost two grand drop in price.
Aerial sockets are obviously very expensive components.

“Its for sale as I’m literally one foot away from TV (since moving home)”

What an odd reason to sell. Have you considered maybe stepping further away from it, if that’s a problem?
Or do you just sell anything that’s within arms’ reach?

“You can see dancing pixels…”

I’ll admit, I’ve not been following Strictly Come Dancing.
Is Brucie computer generated now?

“but I think that is because I’m so close..”

Or you’ve been sniffing glue?

“when I was in Wales…10 feet away watching sky hd, picture was stunning.”

Do I need to create a new category?
“Worked fine in Wales”
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SIGNIFICANT DISCOUNT TO ORIGINAL RRP UNKNOWN INCIDENT

"it feels like you are watching in the cinema"


“Here we have a projection television by one of the top makes in the world TOSHIBA IT HAS 55 INCH SCREEN WHICH IS CRACKED”

Ah yes, “TOSHIBA IT HAS 55 INCH SCREEN WHICH IS CRACKED” – they’re one of the top makes, aren’t they?
Right up there with “SONY WAS WORKING FINE TIL MY SON THREW A WII CONTROLLER AT IT” and “LG I DROPPED ICRECREAM DOWN THE BACK”.

“also needs other repair to get a proper picture”

But you’re not going to tell anyone what that is, as it would spoil the surprise?

“this television is huge & cost around £6000.00 when new”

Well, who’s the mug with more money than sense then?

“it has built in surround sound which sounds totally amazing.”

I should bloody hope so for 6 grand.

“WE HAVE ALREADY REPLACED THIS TV SO IT’S NOW FOR SALES AS SPARES OR REPAIR.”

With a considerably cheaper one, I’d hope.

“due to size & weight this is a local pick up item only & you will need to bring a large van to carry it home in as it will not fit into any car,i assure you of that .”

Oh, I’m sure I could fit it in a hatchback if I took an axe to it. After all, it’s hardly going to affect the picture quality now, is it?

“must be picked up within 3 days of auction ending as we really need the space”

Well maybe you shouldn’t have bought such a stupidly large TV set then?
Just a thought.

“it feels like you are watching in the cinema & you are waiting for the lady with the ice creams to arrive.”

Because you’re cramped in tiny seats with no legroom (due to the size of the set), the floor’s suspiciously sticky and you’ve just had to remortagage the house to pay for a small tray of nachos and a bucket sugary of water that’s actually mainly ice?
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NEGLECT/MISUSE UNKNOWN INCIDENT

"item is pick up only"

“You are bidding on a Samsung 32″ TV which has a smashed screen.”

No I’m not. Really, I’m not.

“This was caused by the TV being knocked off a table”

But HOW did it get knocked off the table? What were they doing?
Enquiring minds need to know…

“yet the TV powers up fine and plays the start up sound without any problem.”

“Fine”. “Without any problem”.
Switching on and getting a startup sound doesn’t really sway my attention from the initial description of “smashed screen”.

“Due to the size of the item, this item is pick up only.”

Pick it up after you’ve knocked it over?
Then, knock it over again.
Then pick it up again.
Literally minutes of entertainment.

“This item doesn’t include a remote”

Naturally. Plus, it wouldn’t really be much use, would it?
Unless you really want to hear that startup sound over and over again without getting up from the sofa.

“but a power cable will be supplied.”

Which you can use to tether it so it doesn’t get knocked over again?
I mean, you wouldn’t want it getting damaged, would you?
Any more than it already is, obviously.
If that’s possible.

“There is a stand with the TV although that is also damaged due to the accident.”

If the stand didn’t stop it getting knocked over before, how much use it us going to be now?
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NEGLECT/MISUSE UNKNOWN INCIDENT

"you can see it is working"

“Comes on but as you can see the screen is smashed”

Oh, so that’s not a close up of a dalmation or a friesian cow you’re watching?

“ideal for spares though to repair your old T.V”

Really? But I have a different model TV (It’s not pink, for a start).

“some sellers want £9.99 for 1 part , with my auction you get the whole set for £9.99 ! and you can see it is working, why pay someone £9.99 for a part you dont see working !”

Um. Because it’s likely to be a new and guaranteed working part?
Rather than a partly-used component, possibly swimming in leaked Liquid Crystal juices?

“No remote or mains adaptor but you do get the matching stand.”

Oh, well that’s the clincher right there.
10 pounds worth of broken TV components, but they come with a matching stand.
Maybe if you had a matching bin for it all I still wouldn’t be tempted.
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UNKNOWN INCIDENT WORKED UNTIL BROKE

"picture is faulty like in the picture"

BSOD

“This is a Samsung LCD TV with a defective screen. I’ve had it for about 3 years.”

And you’ve not thought of replacing it/getting it fixed in all that time?

“The sound works but the picture is faulty like in the picture.”

Sorry, which picture is faulty? The picture (pictured), or the picture of the picture?

“I suppose someone might want to use it for parts or something so I’m putting it up here.”

“Or something”.
That just about encompasses anything doesn’t it?
From someone unhinged enough to want a screen ominously displaying an almost otherworldly blue glow so they can talk to God/aliens/their late Aunty Doreen (or the alien god “Lateantidoreen”, I suppose), to people confused by the idea of blue movies and pretty much any simpleton and lunatic in between, really.
Wonder where the two current bidders fit in that scale?
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NEGLECT/MISUSE PROBABLY FIXABLE UNKNOWN INCIDENT

"fingers missing"

The leg bone's connected to the...oh, it isn't, sorry

“One of the hands has the fingers missing”

Where did these come from? The Action Man leper colony playset?
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