Monthly Archives: March 2011

HUMAN ERROR PROBABLY FIXABLE

"Pokemon Gameboy games Silver Gold Save repair service!"

“Do your Game Boy or Game Boy Color Games no longer save or keep time?
Pokemon Gold, Silver, or Crystal Red, Blue, Yellow, version not save anymore?
Or any other game no longer saving?
I can fix them!”

But only if it’s already not saving? I.e. he can’t replace the battery with a fresh one to keep your saves going a bit longer without losing them?
Certainly not going to trust him with a Secret of Mana cartridge then.

“Notice: I only fix games that work, but do not save.”

You open them, replace the battery and screw the case back together.
For around a fiver a time.
Not sure that counts as ‘fixing’.
Think I may have to setup an ebay shop offering to ‘fix’ TV remotes.
Providing they’re not broken and only need new batteries.
View Auction

NEGLECT/MISUSE UNKNOWN INCIDENT

"Princess Pippa doll torso"

“Dancing Princess Pippa doll one armed upper torso.”

How’s the dancing been going, Princess Pippa?
What’s that? Not so good, you say?

“Hopefully someone can use it in spares or repairs!”

I dread to think what for.

“Also selling other Pippa dolls”

“Ask about postage to non UK destinations”

Where was Hostel set/filmed again?

“I send items as soon as payment has cleared.”

I’m reading that as being said in a gruff eastern European accent. I send girls, pretty girls, when you send money. You send money soon, you get prettier girls. Is good deal, yes?

“She has been kept in a sealed case in cupboard in a non smoking house since the 1970s!”

[INSERT FRITZL-RECORD-BREAKING-ATTEMPT JOKE HERE]
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HUMAN ERROR NEGLECT/MISUSE UNKNOWN INCIDENT

"norlett rotovator / rotavator no engine spares repair"


To commemorate Cmdr Zorg finally shutting down the update engine at UK:R and going outside to spend time in the garden with his family, we bring you this… this…
Hold on, what is it anyway? I’ve seen junk like that littering the “Capital Wasteland” in Fallout 3 but that can’t be it.

“Norlett rotovator”

Ah yes, a rotavator, also known as a rotary tiller or cultivator that works by having a big heavy engine that turns blades round to munch up the soil (and toes and fingers too if you’re not careful).

“no engine”

Oh. That’s not really a rotavator anymore, that’s “Scrap”.
A rotarvator’s supposed to make digging the garden easier than using a spade, not harder.

“may be other bits missing”

I think the engine missing is pretty much the clincher though.

“what you see in photo is what you get”

Is that including the bin, paving slabs and fence panel?
What about disappointment and rust?

“good little project”

If you’ve got time to waste trying to rebuild an antique rotarvator you’ve got time to dig the garden properly.
View Auction

NEGLECT/MISUSE

"CLUEDO WADDINGTONS OLD 1965 BOARDGAME 1 PIECE MISSING"

cluedo missing piece mystery

Is it the candlestick?

View auction.

HUMAN ERROR NEGLECT/MISUSE UNKNOWN INCIDENT

"psp"

“hi there here i have a faulty psp”

Why’s it faulty?

“the reason its faulty is because half the screen is cracked”

And the other half?

“the other half is visable”

“the condition is good condition”

Excluding the half of the screen that’s cracked, of course.
Guessing the seller’s a “Glass half-full” person.
I’m a “Why’s this glass cracked?” person, myself.

“i have misplaced the charger”

Naturally.

“but will have a good look around for it and send with the psp if i find it”

But no guarantees = Not much comfort really.

“i have a few games some where if i find them i will send them aswell”

No guarantees = expect nothing.

“tahnk u for looking happy bidding.
no returns or renfunds and no neg feed back thank u.”

Yes. No renfunds. Whatever they are.
Possibly a type of charger.
View Auction

NEGLECT/MISUSE

"LG 32" LCD Television – SCREEN BROKEN"

“This poor tv was the victim of an unprovoked attack by our granddaughter armed with a pencil.”

Not quite “pen mightier than sword” but it appears the pencil is definitely mightier than TV.
As is the wii remote, the edge of a table, Audrey Hepburn, etc, etc…

“So it is now offered to those who know how to fix or want it for spares.”

Well, that’s very generous. Oh, you mean for money.
I’m assuming ‘it’ refers to the TV and not the granddaughter.

“Due to bulk collection from either the seller or postcode PE15 9AU is requested.”

Again, I’m hoping they’re not saying the granddaughter’s bulky, although if she can take out a TV armed only with a pencil…

“Could meet at any point between the two addressses”

That point doesn’t have to be on a straight line between said addresses, does it?
That’s just crying out for someone to arrange to meet them halfway across the Atlantic or on the moon.
Halfway between them and Skegness appears to be the wash, so that’s probably as good a place as any. Arrange a meeting in a rowboat somewhere, then ‘accidentally’ drop it into the water at the handover point and refuse to pay.
View auction

HUMAN ERROR

"2blackberry 8900s phones"

“hello iam selling two blackberry 8900s one does work but there is somthing wrong with speakers as it is low been told it needs new one it is on orange only and the other one it is not powering up the red light comes on when charging and thats it so i am just selling them as spares or repairs as i do not need them any more as i have a new phone know they come with one charger only so i hope they will come in handy for some body as i said spares or repairs so please no bad feed back this is my first time on ebay ok”

Aaaaaand breathe.
First time on ebay and already fitting in nicely it would seem. Possibly a bit generous on the charger front, and no mention of them working fine (until they suddenly didn’t) or the RRP-when-new but other than that a promisingly depressing start.
View Auction

UNKNOWN INCIDENT

“We have tested this unit and have found that due to impact damage on the right hand side of the screen, the display is faulty.”

Blimey, however could they tell that? they must have some real geniuses working for them to be able to tell that. What is this, CSI:Colchester?

“Condition
This item is in poor cosmetic condition. There are some cosmetic marks to the casing. Please see photos for details.”

Yes, not sure further ‘testing’ is required really.

“Original RRP – £800”

Aha-aha-ha-ha-ha.
Ha.

“Product Description (when new)
Style and performance meet in one complete experience. Combining a full HD 1080p display, Pixel Plus HD engine and fantastic invisible sound, this Flat TV provides brilliant design and powerful performance for years to come.”

Until someone throws a remote at it.
Still, that ‘invisible sound’ seems mighty tempting, I’m forever getting annoyed with the sound from my TV getting in the way of me being able to see the picture.

Product Description (now)

‘Fucked’
View Auction

HUMAN ERROR

"Hitachi L32HP03U 32" HD Ready LCD TV Freeview FAULTY NR"

“We have tested this unit and have found that it will switch on, however, as there is no remote control or menu function on the TV, we were unable to fully test the tuner features. Please assume to be faulty”

The man’s face says it all.

“Winning bid: £131.99 [ 15 bids ]”

Plus

“£27.99 – Express Delivery”

Give me strength.
View Auction

NEGLECT/MISUSE

"THE CAR AND THE STEERING WHEEL ARE MISSING"

sega-tyco-driver

“I CANT SAY IF THIS STILL WORKS SORRY IT BEEN PACKED AWAY FOR A VERY LONG TIME. BEEN SOLD AS IS … IT IS A RARE ITEM THOUGH”

Maybe if the manual’s missing it’s OK. Maybe if the box was thrown away by your young self because you didn’t plan ahead to when you’d be 36 and selling it on to pay off your credit card debts it would still be OK.

But it is not really OK if the TWO MOST CRITICAL FEATURES of a driving-based toy are missing and what remains is possibly also broken. Link submitted by a Mr Floppylobster.

View auction.