Monthly Archives: February 2011

HUMAN ERROR NEGLECT/MISUSE WORKED UNTIL BROKE

“We have tested this unit and can confirm that it has impact damage to the screen.”

I think the phrase going through pretty much everyone’s heads at this point is:
“No shit, Sherlock.”
Wonder what kind of testing they did in order to get that result?

“The power lead is missing.”

I’m not sure that’s really needed anymore, to be honest.

“This item is in poor cosmetic condition.”

Obviously masters in the art of “Stating the bleeding obvious”

“Original RRP – £350”

For a model in considerably better condition though, I think you’ll find…

“Product Description (When New)”

Nicely irrelevant.
Mind you, I bet their Gran was a real looker back in the day, eh?
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NEGLECT/MISUSE UNKNOWN INCIDENT

"nintendo ds lite spares/repairs"

“Here i have a grey nintendo ds lite spares/repairs”

Ok…

“in two halfs”

Nice comic timing.
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HIJINKS NEGLECT/MISUSE

"Sega Saturn Arcade Racer Easy Repair Steering Wheel"

“Sega Saturn racer steering wheel
Only used a few times
Needs lead sorting
Easy repair”

So easy in fact that the seller isn’t going to bother doing it themselves.

“Kids let Hamster out & went wild and chewed the cable ” Thanx kids” “

Have you thought of maybe feeding your kids so they don’t chew cables?
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HUMAN ERROR NEGLECT/MISUSE UNKNOWN INCIDENT

"IT Equipment x19 *Spares or Repairs*"

As I was going to St. Ives, I met a man with…19 pieces of IT equipment.
Each piece of IT had a probable fault.
Each probable fault was unconfirmed.

“Although I can’t guarantee anything in terms of the working condition, I have included the information I believe might be the case. All of the items are in good physical condition. Not all of the items are shown in the picture (as noted).
Included in this sale
1x Mouse (PS2)
Probably works.
2x Qwerty Keyboard
Probably work.
1x Powered Desktop Speakers
Probably work. PSU present.”

‘Probably’, a word so full of hope. But also potential treachery!

“2x A4 Desktop Scanner (one not shown)
May or may not work.”

What are they? Schrödinger’s flatbeds?

“1x Paper/CD/DVD Shredder (not shown)
Doesn’t power-up.”

That’d be a box, rather than a shredder then, unless it has a hand-crank of some kind?

“6x CRT Monitor (from 15-19″)
One definately doesn’t work but it’s quite possible the rest do.”

6 large and probably quite heavy monitors that quite possibly work?
I’m not liking these odds.

“3x PC Unit (1x Tower & 2x Desktop)
Hard drives removed for security reasons but most of the expected internal components are present. DVD ROM Drives and CDRW Drives present.”

‘most’ of the ‘expected’ internal components?
And how many unexpected internal components do you think we’d find in there?

“3x Desktop Printer
One definitely works. Drivers, Cables, PSU and Ink Cartridges included but prints slightly skewed. Others may or may not work. Drivers, Cables, PSU’s and Ink Cartridges present to some extent.”

Oh goody, 1 wonky deskjet. That’s the deal clincher, right there.

“Note: All items must be collected, whether working or not.”

If you’d tipped your binmen at Christmas I’m sure that wouldn’t have been a problem.

Mice, speakers, keyboard, scanners,
Shredders, monitors, cases, printers…
How many are being picked up from St. Ives?

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HIJINKS HUMAN ERROR NEGLECT/MISUSE UNKNOWN INCIDENT WORKED UNTIL BROKE

Special Charity Announcement



Charity appeal

Every day, millions of ebay sellers struggle to get by, being forced to sell items that, whilst having no real financial worth, are obviously of great sentimental value, given the prices they attach to them.
Take the example of kymberley000 (222) 96.4% Positive feedback:
She is being forced to sell 3 broken Playstation 3’s, having already had to flog a broken Blackberry and a (broken) “Lifestyle Media Center”.

“1 PLAYSTATION 3 60GB IT TURNS ON AND BOOTS UP BUT IT HAS A FAULTY DRIVE I THINK THE BLURAY LASER IS WORKING BUT NOT 100% IT HAS A 40 GB HARD DRIVE IN IT”

40Gb? 60Gb? Oh, let’s not worry about it, I’m sure this is the least of our worries.

“2 PLAYSTATION 3 40GB IT WILL NOT TURN ON YOLD THIS ONE IS COMPLET BLURAY DRIVE IS WORKING”

YOLD? Yellow Of Light Death?
Well, at least it’s complet.
“3 PAYSTATION 3 IT TURNS ON BUT NO DISPLAY NO BLURAY DRIVE AND NO HARD DRIVE AND CADDY BUT IT DUS HAVE LOGG BOARD”
A Paystation with Logg board?

“THAY DO NOT CUME WHTH CONTROLLER OR CABES CONSOLE ONLY”

Please, give generously. Three people already have, driving the price of this worthless junk up to over £50 including postage – The purchase of a broken mobile phone can help pay for a decent dictionary.
If it comes with a charger then it can easily cover the cost of getting a caps lock key fixed so it doesn’t stick all the time.
Businesses! Buying a broken flatscreen TV (in it’s “ORIGINAL MANUFACTORY BOX“) as a piece of modern ‘installation’ art, speaking out about the state of the modern-day media, for display in your foyer/reception area can pay for sending an ebay seller back to school for pre-gcse english lessons.
Only through you can sellers like “FRISK FREE” Clarkson9732, who has already managed to overcome the temptation of selling landfill, receive the basic design and spell-checking help they so obviously need.
Or we can find someone to listen ‘Carfully’ to Mikolajvaz‘s slightly illegal cry for help.
Please, think of the sellers and what you can do to help.
Paypal, bank transfer or cash on collection accepted.
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Uncategorized

"Dummy / Display Mobile Phones – Joblot Wholesale – L@@K"

“This Listing is for 15 Ex high street store Dummy / Display Phones, Which can be used for display / a possible toy.”

Or landfill.

“Also can be used for repairs and spares (Facial parts only). Or can be used for pranks and props for activities.”

Such as ebay auctions.

“We had currently been selling these at £4 each.”

But then even they got bored of it and just want shot of them.
I guess this means we’ll be needing a new category “Never worked in the first place”
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UNKNOWN INCIDENT

"Lot of PC Spares PC100, DDR2 RAM, PCI Graphics card etc"

“They are all untested, and should be assumed faulty, as they were pulled from non-functioning PCs.
The lot comprises of:

  • compaq socket 478 motherboard micro-at with heatsink and fan, NO CPU. Has AGP graphics slot and comes with backplate. Looks very good cosmetically but untested
  • 512mb pc133 ram stick untested, worth a lot if it works!
  • infineon ddr ram stick, untested
  • infineon 256mb pc 133mhz ram, untested
  • 128mb pc100 ram untested
  • 1gb ddr2-533 ram untested
  • msi N1996 socket 775 motherboard, PCI-express etc, untested, ports at the back seem rusty
  • 2 pci lan cards, one missing bracket, untested but suspected working
  • sapphire ati radeon 7000 pci 64mb gpu, looks in good condition but untested
  • PCI Express Nvidia 7300 256mb graphics card, rusty bracket, untested”

Well, that’s pretty much all you’d need to build your own non-working pc, isn’t it?
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NEGLECT/MISUSE

"Joblot Of Ipods"

“1.Black and red special edition u2 iPod 20gb. Has light scratches
2.white iPod 15gb has light scratches
3.White iPod 15gb has light scratches
Bottom row
1.silver iPod . Has scratches
2.green iPod 4gb has dents and scratches
Remember sold as spares or repair”

So, if you need any spare scratches or dents for your iPod, this is the auction for you.
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NEGLECT/MISUSE UNKNOWN INCIDENT

"Car Stereos X 12"

“Assorted car stereos. Some CD some Cassette players. All work but most of them have faults. Not all. The faults are for example, the cd stuck inside, some buttons not working, fuse gone… Etc. But there are some which are in full working order.”

Would some of them have ripped cables, screwdriver-gouged fascias, missing keycodes and the odd shard of broken passenger-window glass in them too?

“Would suit a repair shop for parts, Or someone who wants to sell on for profit.”

Like your friendly neighbourhood crack-addict/carjacker?
Oh, hello.
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HUMAN ERROR

"Samsung SGH-U600 Mobile Phone UNTESTED!!LOOOOOK BARGAIN"

“LOOOOOK”

NOOOOO.
Wait, hold on, haven’t we done this before?

“HI THIS PHONE HAS BEEN SITTING IN MY DRAW FOR ABOUT A COUPLE MONTHS I HAVENT USED IT. I BOUGHT THIS PHONE FROM EBAY A COUPLE MONTHS AGO, I WAS TOLD IT WAS IN FULLY WORKING CONDITION AND THAT IT WAS UNLCKED, IT DIDNT COME WITH A CHARGER AND I DIDNT GET THE CHANCE TO BUY ONE SO I HAVENT TESTED IT.”

Blimey, you make a habit of this, don’t you?
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