Monthly Archives: January 2011

UNKNOWN INCIDENT

"Bulk Lot of 42 Faulty Tony Hawk Ride Boards for PS3"

tony hawk ride job lot

Reader “Deborah” stumbled across this, which could be the highest number of broken things for sale in one go we’ve yet featured. Here’s what’s broken about these plastic skateboards:

“They are various returns from retailers, some have returns labels on that are marked with the apperent fault, these labels are as follows

Unspecified / no label – 17
Board not syncing / connecting – 14
Board not working – 3
Board switches off 1
Damaged box – 1
Board repaced – 1
Wont swich off – 1
Power problem – 2
Game wont load – 1
Very unresponsive – 1

View auction.

UNKNOWN INCIDENT

"THERE MAY MINOR WEAR & TEAR"

toshiba insides

That’s not “Minor wear & tear” – that’s the Terminator emerging from the burning truck wreck with all its flesh burned off revealing the base workings of the chassis underneath just when WE ALL THOUGHT IT WAS DEAD AND THIS WAS THE END OF THE FILM.

View auction.

UNKNOWN INCIDENT

"Nokia 6310i Mobile Phone"

The Actual Phone

“nokia 6310i faulty for parts or repair spares”

Ok.

“i got this in a box from a acution “

A acution, eh? I’ve not thought of looking in a acution for stuff before.

“the housing looks to be in good condtion the little plasitic bit that fits in the bottom of the housing is missing”

Ah, the little plasitic bit’s always the first to go.

“it powers up ok as you can see in the picture this is the actual phone”

I suppose I shouldn’t be snarky here, how many people put stuff up for sale using a stock photo?
Answer: Too many.

“i have tested it with a wall charger it takes charge ok”

It takes charge ok? The ideal phone for a lethargic or submissive person then, surely?

“there is no wall charger”

There never is, is there?
The Matrix got it wrong with “There is no spoon”, obviously.
It should have been “There is no charger” but I guess the Nokia sponsership deal meant they were told not to advertise this fact and had to change the line. Previously, the bald kid had been playing snake with his mind, not bending spoons.
Think about it, how many Nokia mobiles were in that film, but how many chargers did you see?
None. Spooky, eh?

“so its sold aseen faulty no returns no refunds”

“sold aseen” now added to saved ebay search terms.
View Auction

HUMAN ERROR NEGLECT/MISUSE UNKNOWN INCIDENT

A reader submission! Great!
Submitted with half an hour to go before the end of the auction! Arse!
Let’s get this scheduled to post asap and see if I can finish typing before it automatically posts, eh? oooh, the excitement…
By the way, this one’s courtesy of ‘Psybernoid’.
Thanks Psybernoid!
(Thybernoid)
“Was brand new, until he dropped it.”

“This phone was brand new until i dropped it as you can see by the photos the screen is smashed the phone still turns on and is in good working condition but needs a new screen. The phone comes with box, phone and charger/usb lead.”

Brand new (until dropped)
Good working condition (excluding broken parts)
I’m amazed we’ve not been told how much it originally cost.
View Auction

HUMAN ERROR UNKNOWN INCIDENT WATER/LIQUIDS

“MODEL NUMBER KP-53S4, IF YOU FEEL LIKE GOOGLEING IT FEEL FREE.”

Well thank you, that’s incredibly generous of you, I do so enjoy a good googleing.
And so many other ebay sellers stop you from doing it, don’t they?

“IT IS SOLD AS SPARES OR REPAIR, IT DOES TURN ON BUT NEEDS ADJUSTING OR SOMETHING,”

Adjusting or something, eh? Sounds like it could be quite technical…

“OR NEEDS CALIBRATING, NOT SURE IF THERE IS A FAULT.”

You’re not sure if there’s a fault? So what makes you think it needs ‘adjusting or something’, then?
Or even, heaven forbid, ‘Calibrating’?

“IT WAS WORKING FINE UNTIL WE MOVED IT BACK TO MY HOUSE AFTER A MATE USED IT TO WATCH SKY SPORTS WITH THE LADS”

Ah, so maybe it’s allergic to Sky?
Or maybe just had beer poured over it.
Note the ever-so-subtle “Working fine until…” gambit. A classic.
So, it was working fine until something may, or may not, have happened to maybe cause a fault that could require adjusting, calibrating or something.
Or maybe not.

“THIS TV COST £4000, I HAVE THE RECEIPT”

That’s nice for you.

“I DO NOT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT TV’S SO PLEASE DO NOT ASK.”

Well, I think we guessed that already, what with you having admitted paying Four Thousand Pounds for one.
That’s Four.
Thousand.
Pounds.
You do realise TV’s normally sell for less than an average second-hand family car, don’t you?

“WHAT EVER IT GETS IT WILL GO FOR.”

How philosophical.
Makes me want to end on a song.

When I was desperate for some cash,
I asked on ebay, what will this fetch?
Will it be nothing?
Will I be rich?
Here’s what they said to me:

Que sera, sera
Whatever it gets, it gets
Who buys broken TV sets?
Que sera, sera
What it gets, it gets
(Minus applicable paypal and listing fees)


View Auction

HIJINKS UNKNOWN INCIDENT

"SEGA GAME GEAR HAND HELD….SPARES OR REPAIR"

“BEING SOLD AS SPARES OR REPAIRS AS I HAVE NO CHARGER”

“WHEN SWITCHED ON IT DOES LIGHT UP, BUT I THINK THE BATTERIES NOT ENOUGH POWER IN THEM”

“A COLLECTORS ITEM”

Yes, the market for broken Game Gears is positively cut-throat, isn’t it?
View Auction

HUMAN ERROR UNKNOWN INCIDENT

"Samsung 46" LCD TV – cracked LCD"

“My poor tv which I’ve only had for a year and half and cost £1200 isn’t working.”

Let’s do the math here.
£1200 x 1.5 years + 1 crack = New revised value approx 1200p

“The LCD I think has cracked on the top left hand side of screen so I can only see 25% of the TV and the rest of it is black”

Oh well, 25% of 46″ is still 11.5″
That means you’re only paying about a pound an inch, mysterious bidder who should probably know better…
View Auction

HUMAN ERROR NEGLECT/MISUSE UNKNOWN INCIDENT

Look at that shot, that's bloody art, that is...

“You are bidding on this iPhone. Take a look at some of the pictures.
This phone is cracked and has some signs of moister damage.”

Take a look at yourself in a mirror.
Slap yourself and ask “What the hell were you thinking?”

“may have chips in it as well.”

Apple and chips? Stop trying to market it as Scottish healthfood.
View Auction

HUMAN ERROR UNKNOWN INCIDENT

"Apple iPhone frist genrtion"


Another new year, still the same old tat offered for sale with the same stock images.

“ere we have a iphone frist gen i boug this phone off ebay to fix it but dont have the time to now i am working so its up for sale”

For someone who isn’t working to buy? Or now you’re working you only buy working things, so non-working items like this have to go to non-working people?

“problems are had no touch pad screen looks cracked and dosnt power up
phones is sold as faulty so no negative feedback or returns”

I’d say offered as faulty rather than sold, but as per usual, people are bidding on it.
Currently at a little over 40 pounds including p&p.
Is £40 really so little to so many people that they’re willing to throw it away on an item they haven’t seen that’s been described like that?

“check out my other iteams good look”

Oh.
It would appear that, yes, people will actually throw more than 3 times that amount for items with the same stock photo, described as:

“i have got the phone working the only thing i an find work with it dosent pick up any signal i is on orange comes up ornage on the top with no signal when you go to call out it says called failed and has a small carck”

Yes, that’s

“got the phone working”

“it dosent pick up any signal”

“comes up ornage on the top”

and

“has a small carck”

Currently over £130 inc p&p
I think I may need to take another little break from this before I snap and run through town with a rusty scythe.
View Auction
View Other Auction