Monthly Archives: August 2010

UNKNOWN INCIDENT

"16 DVD'S"

17, actually
Fed up with being laughed at by your WKD drinking ‘mates’ down the pub for only having Chocolat and The Princess Bride on VHS?
Then don’t miss this! Here’s the ideal chance to start a perfect “real man’s” film collection:
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HUMAN ERROR UNKNOWN INCIDENT

"2 pictures"

The seller has not uploaded any pictures. Check the item description for details.

“2 pictures size 38 cm x 38 cm”

Well, they seem ideal. I always find when it comes to home decorating, it’s always best to look at the wall and decide what size picture would look best there, rather than what the picture is of.
And maybe they didn’t upload any pictures as the one provided by eBay was already a perfect match?
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UNKNOWN INCIDENT

"it no longer works as was dropped on the floor but could be used for spares"


Or as a novelty doorstop.
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UNKNOWN INCIDENT

"I THINK ITS ABOUT 20 YEARS OLD OR MORE YOU HAD TO SEND COUPONS OR SOMETHING OFF TO GET ONE"


Now, I know what you’re thinking
Apart from “Another ashtray? This is the second one now, what are you, obsessed with Tobacciana or what?” you’re probably thinking “Aha! He thinks he can slip that one by us but that’s intentionally crumpled like that, that doesn’t count!”
To which I reply “A: anything that means I’m not having to trawl through page after page of broken TV’s or psp’s is fine by me”
and “B:”

“THIS ASH TRAY IS BROKEN AND GLUED BACK TOGETHER IT DOESNT SHOW MUCH AND IF ITS FOR A COLLECTION WOULD SUFFICE FOR DISPLAY OR IF YOU WANT TO USE I SUPPOSE IT WOULD BE OK……..”

So, ner.
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HIJINKS HUMAN ERROR


Yet again, another item with a perfect working history until shortly before it was put on sale on eBay.

“However my 5 year old had an accident with a Wii remote and it hit the screen!”

Yet again, young children are blamed for breaking expensive (Orion? Well, expensive-ish) electrical equipment when they should’ve been left to play with inexpensive things like Lego or some building blocks.
How much have Nintendo been paid for stimulating the economy in this way, anyway?
And why has no-one yet created a fire-guard style protection device for fragile TV screens?

“There is now a broken picture with vertical colour lines and its no longer watchable.”

Don’t be silly! Didn’t you know stripes are the new black?
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HUMAN ERROR UNKNOWN INCIDENT

"Mobile phone accessories 1500+ pieces so 13p each!"

Fill your garage with unsellable tat for under £221!
Or, alternatively, you can look at it as 1 garage-full of junk for over 220 pounds (you must supply the garage)

“NEARLY 40 boxes.”

39 boxes.
Maybe 38?
I’d hazard a guess at somewhere between 35 and 39 anwyay.

“These items are new in their original box’s.”

Classic butcher’s apostrophe. Must be a market seller, I can just picture the neon peice’s of card all over his stall. Bargain’s!!! Barginz! Bargin’s!!

“GRAB A BARGAIN AT ONLY @13P PER ITEM.”

Providing you buy over 1500 of them.

“WE ARE SELLING THEM AT £2-5 EACH ON EBAY AT PRESENT AND SENDING THEM ALL OVER THE WORLD.”

Would be nice if you sent them to the people who bought them, rather than “all over the world”, but if wishes were horses, eh? We’d be rich in catfood and glue then, at least.

“THEY ARE NOT THE LATEST MODELS, BUT HEY AT 15P AND SELL 2/400P ITS A GOOD MONEY MAKER”

So good, in fact, they you’re finding you’d be better off trying to sell it all as a bulk sale at 13p per item.
Saves you having to rummage through the lockup to find that elusive unofficial mobile phone case you’ve just sold for £1.79 – Just a few more of those and you’ll be retired on a beach in Antigua, sipping cocktails with your suppertime dish at the end of your fishing line…
Living the dream!

“MAKE A FORTUNE”

Yes! You TOO can LIVE THE DREAM! – Have your own garage/lockup/spare bedroom filled with out-of-date junk you’ll never be able to sell on!

“NEED THE ROOM HENCE SILLY PRICE FOR THE LOT.”

Well, at least they’re honest about the price.
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UNKNOWN INCIDENT

"IT MAY NEED SOME REPIAR WORKS AFTER YOU MESS WITH IT AFTER AWHILE!!!!!"

Looking sharp...
Found while browsing the other items for sale by the ebay seller “gamewurm” (98.6% Positive feedback) after ‘Larry’ submitted this horrific item to UK:R.
Thanks Larry! You just need to find a Teclast executive and you might be able to get a clean run across the whole network…

“PLEASE NOTE THAT ANY GAME CONSOLES,PERIPHERALS THAT ARE LISTED AS NON-WORKING ORDER. WILL NOT BE REFUNDED IT IS UP TO YOU TO READ AND UNDERSTAND THE DESCRIPTION”

So, that’d be the ever-so-helpful description that doesn’t tell you:

  • What’s wrong with it,
  • Whether the remote’s still included
  • What those mysterious pieces of tape on the front of it are for?
  • Hell, it’s missing the original controllers and even the Sharp logo from the front.
  • US $599.99? Bargain.
    (In the seller’s mind.)
    There’s a few people nattering about such an item here and a kind-of-wiki-page about it here if you’re particularly interested…
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    UNKNOWN INCIDENT

    "FAULTY SONY VAIO VGN-TX2HP LAPTOP SPARES OR REPAIR"

    I bought this laptop for £1500 4 years ago

    Nice piece of irrelevant information there. Unless you’re somehow selling it 4 years ago?

    For some reason it started to get hot when charging but still worked ok

    Oh that’s perfectly normal for a Vaio battery. That’s just your standard Sony warning that you’re about to star in a remake of “Backdraft”.

    it has not had a drink or anything spilt on it.

    Why would you say such a thing? That now makes me wonder what kind of fluids have narrowly missed hitting it.
    And if you’re listing things that have never happened to it, I notice you omitted to say:
    It’s never had a car reverse over it,
    It’s never plummeted to the ground from high Earth orbit and
    It’s never overthrown a despotic regime in a third world country.
    So, is there anything else we should know about this?
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